[00:00:00]

Aaron Guyett: Individual responsibility is essentially where I started because I noticed that that was the thing that was missing. And and the the problem with becoming a victim is what it is, right, when you don't take responsibility. Oh, it's this person's fault. Oh, it's this environment's fault. Oh, it was that rock that tripped me.

[00:00:18]

Sharlene Licciardello: Have you ever wondered why there are so many adult children that have never matured?

[00:00:22]

Stephen Licciardello: Or perhaps you are a parent wanting to raise your children in a way that develops resilient adults.

[00:00:28]

Sharlene Licciardello: In today's episode, we have a chat with Aaron Gaiatt, a marine who unashamedly answers the question, why are rights of passage crucial for children in tumultuous times?

[00:00:38]

Stephen Licciardello: Aaron shows the three stages of a child's development and how rights of passage signify the end of one stage and the beginning of another.

[00:00:45]

Sharlene Licciardello: Stay to the end to find out more about an app that Aaron has developed to help parents develop rights of passage for their children, plus a whole lot of other courses including becoming a leader of leaders. Let's dive in. Welcome to rewrite your story, the podcast where change begins with you.

[00:01:03]

Stephen Licciardello: We're your host, Steven and Sharlene.

[00:01:05]

Sharlene Licciardello: As professional coaches and mentors trained in various modalities, we have helped hundreds of people.

[00:01:10]

Stephen Licciardello: Bridge the gap between the person they are.

[00:01:12]

Sharlene Licciardello: And the person they want to be.

[00:01:14]

Stephen Licciardello: We bring you conversations with real people who have overcome real setbacks.

[00:01:18]

Sharlene Licciardello: You will walk away with practical steps to find more clarity, alignment, and success in any area you want to improve.

[00:01:24]

Stephen Licciardello: So join us and discover how you have the power to overcome, to change, and to rewrite your story.

[00:01:30]

Sharlene Licciardello: So pick up the pen. Your new chapter starts now.

[00:01:35]

Stephen Licciardello: So, Aaron, you served in Kuwait and Iraq in the Marine Corp, and that has formed a lot of your teaching in leadership at the moment. Can I ask what was it about those experience that formed your teaching?

[00:01:55]

Aaron Guyett: Yeah. So the interesting part is I I vehemently despise certain aspects of the Marine Corps ethos, not not what they teach. What they teach, I think they teach it really well. And what they expect of leaders, I think they do really well in that there's really high expectations, high level of responsibility, and, high level of sacrifice. And so all those things are obviously through lines into my own Christian understanding and walk with Christ. But it was it was actually sort of formed without God in that, you know, I prayed in in Kuwait that God would kill me and God obviously didn't kill me. And I I know that sounds like a really ignorant prayer and I was 20 stupid years old, so, of course, it was very ignorant. But but I really did want to know I did wanna know why do we exist.

[00:02:51]

Aaron Guyett: Why is there something rather than nothing? Does god exist? Right? All these, I think, really important questions. And and from that, went into went into combat and was in several firefights, was ambushed, was was even shot at by my own friendlies at one point, and and I never died. And so I didn't find out if there was heaven or hell or god existed, and I am so grateful to god for that now. But but yeah. So I I think with with that comes this machismo, toxic, masculine, all sorts there's all sorts of pitfalls and problems that can surface in that type of environment, glorifying violence, glorifying death, you know, things like that. Those are those are not helpful when just everyday leadership is is happening. That's that's not what's going to help influence this fear that is around you. But things like taking responsibility and and being able to sacrifice up to and including your life for those that you love, for those that you care about, All of those things, resoundingly, will be respected, trusted, and given authority, and we see this all the time in the world.

[00:04:10]

Aaron Guyett: As as soon as you take away your need for responsibility, that's immediately when the critics start chirping and and not trusting you and not giving you authority because now you can't be trusted. Right? Like, I've I've just like, I want you to do what I tell you to do, but I'm not gonna take any responsibility for it. I mean, that just sounds ridiculous, you know, but it's a common occurrence. And so I think I don't know. That that might be the short way of of of saying, yes. There was a lot of good things that I've gleaned from it, but there's definitely some bad things that I had to learn how to forget or or ask forgiveness for even.

[00:04:48]

Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. Growing up, did you always wanna be in the armed forces?

[00:04:54]

Aaron Guyett: Yes. Absolutely. I'm the I'm the quintessential romantic masculine kid, you know, that wants to kill the dragon and get the girl. I mean, and this that is the that is maybe the greatest story in the in the cosmos. Right? So, yeah, that was absolutely me. And then I just thought, well, the Marine Corps is the hardest, so sure. I'll I'll do the Marine Corps. And I and I it was interesting, you know, a lot of kids and we even played army, you call it army, but I started calling it marines because I just thought it was like harder.

[00:05:26]

Aaron Guyett: And it's funny because then you join and you're like, oh, it's not really what I had anticipated it being. But Yeah.

[00:05:33]

Stephen Licciardello: Awesome. Yeah.

[00:05:34]

Sharlene Licciardello: It was, like you mentioned just before that, you had asked God to let you die. So what what what brought you to that point?

[00:05:44]

Aaron Guyett: Why and so I think it was, you know, my childhood, first half, charismatic, speaking in tongues, interpreting tongues, healing hands, you know, all all these all the things that come with this sort of charismatic church, and then the last half was Roman Catholic. But I tell people, I'm like, the through line was public school. So this constant skepticism about God and this removal of God from history, this removal of God, and it's not like they were removing it while I was there. It was it was not there. You couldn't find it. And I'm like, well, so I I go to these churches and God is the creator of everything. He's the sustainer of everything. He's redeeming everything.

[00:06:26]

Aaron Guyett: And then I go to public school and nobody talks about God. Well, so that's that bifurcation in a young child's mind is is obviously going to create skepticism, a skepticism at least towards religion because every every other aspect of my life, it's, you know, God God isn't the one that's behind all of this. He is not the provider. And so, welling up from inside of me, I want to know, why do I exist? Is there something like, why is there something rather than nothing? Where did all this something come from? You know? Did is there a creator or did it just pop into existence out of nothing? You know? And and so I thought in my 20 year old self, I thought the greatest way to find this out is to go to the end and cut and and eschatologically find out what happens to our souls when if we have souls, when they die. Thank God he didn't answer my prayer.

[00:07:27]

Sharlene Licciardello: Yes. He wouldn't be here today.

[00:07:29]

Aaron Guyett: That's right.

[00:07:30]

Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. Awesome. Yeah. I, I find that really interesting because reading up a lot of what you do now and and there's so many aspects of what you do, but one of the key factors, and I'm really interested in this because we've actually never spoken about this on this program, is the rite of passage for children. Mhmm. It's you say that it's so important and I really I'm interested because we know in certain cultures that there is, you know, certain tribals, you know, like, be an Australian, it's it's very part of the First Nations people in Australia. They have rituals and things like that and and periods of time when they'll go out for that initiation. We look at the Jewish culture, and, you know, the bar mitzvah is is that right of passage.

[00:08:18]

Stephen Licciardello: But in a western society or in a Christian society, there's youth group, but that's not

[00:08:24]

Aaron Guyett: the right passage.

[00:08:25]

Stephen Licciardello: Do you know what I mean? You might choose to get baptized later as a teenager or an adult, but that's not really right passage. That's more of a sign of your relationship with Christ. So why then is that such a big part of your message, and and what is that to you?

[00:08:44]

Aaron Guyett: Yeah. So if I could if if the lord could help me gift my children with an undeniable sense of their their phase that they change from and then to, you know, like in in 1st Corinthians 13 where, you know, Paul is talking about you no longer speak and act and you're no longer a child. Like, and and so if you're no longer a child, you're no longer a child. But if you don't have sort of a a a dividing line, here is what here is child and then here is in in in my case, we do adolescence and then we do dependent adulthood, so you're still under, in my household, you're still under my authority, and then we do independent adulthood. And so, those are the, sort of, the 3 dividing lines. And it's boys and girls, and there's differences, and obviously there's, obviously, puberty and things like that that girls go through where it's sort of undeniable, right, and and same with and same with men, but I've met so many adult children that it's sickening to my stomach. They're they're so immature and they just never lost that childhood. They they And they've never lost that adolescence.

[00:10:01]

Aaron Guyett: And so how do we mourn the loss of that and say, that's gone, it's no longer there. These things are are the the childlike things and it's not that they don't have their father still. It's not that, you know, it's not I'm not removing harmful things.

[00:10:16]

Stephen Licciardello: No.

[00:10:16]

Aaron Guyett: I'm sorry. I'm removing harmful things, but I'm not removing things that are good and helpful. But it's it's let's step into maturity and step into what that what those freedoms are, but also what then the responsibility is. And it's sort of the kind of the way that I envisioned it is the same way that Victor Frankl talked about putting a statue of responsibility on the West Coast to have this appropriate balance of freedom and responsibility because we have the statue of liberty right on the east coast. And so that was sort of my frame going into it, but then wanting to honor God with that and honor my children so that they had they could recognize there was a distinct moment and and something that they could have failed and there was a lot of risk that went into it and they had to to get ready for it, do training much like the bar mitzvah or the bat mitzvah now for females. Right? But they actually had to get ready, and then they actually had to go do something that was very challenging. But then, also, because it was very challenging, there's great glory in the end of it and great celebration if and when they pass it. And and, of course, at some point, they're going to pass it, but they may not pass it on the first go.

[00:11:34]

Aaron Guyett: That might take them a second or a third go, and that and that's fine too. But then then they have this defining moment and, you know, little gifts that that help them with that defining moment. Right? Like an adult bible or, you know, now you're not reading the picture book bible or or you're not having dad read the bible to you, you're reading your own adult version of the of the bible. Right? And so things like that to really help them. And so my daughter actually just passed her, first 12 year old rite of passage going from child childhood to adolescence. And she's the first one in in our family. And I've helped other men create other rites of passage for their children. But I'll tell you what, it's it's a it's it's pretty amazing the amount of responsibility that Hannah, my my oldest, is taking on at 12 years old.

[00:12:30]

Aaron Guyett: I mean, it it is, one, deeply satisfying as a parent and as a father, but also it just her relationship even with the Lord is is much more robust, much much richer, much more mature. And, man, that's by god's grace, you know, that that is amazing.

[00:12:48]

Stephen Licciardello: So as you said, you've helped a lot of parents develop these rituals and and or these rites of passage, rather. Can you give us, some examples of what some of the families are doing? Because you're right, there's a lot of adult kids walking around. There's a lot of there's a lot of people that are not responsible for their actions and and do play blame others, and I think one of the key principles of being an adult is that we are 100% responsible for our actions.

[00:13:18]

Aaron Guyett: That's right.

[00:13:19]

Stephen Licciardello: And a lot of people that haven't matured to that don't will play the blame game. Yep. Give us some examples of some of these rites of passage.

[00:13:29]

Aaron Guyett: Yep. That individual responsibility is essentially where I started because I noticed that that was the thing that was missing. Right? And and the the problem with becoming a victim is what it is, right, when you don't take responsibility. Oh, it's this person's fault. Oh, it's this environment's fault. Oh, it was that rock that tripped me. It's like, no. The rock just sat there.

[00:13:51]

Aaron Guyett: You you misstepped and you stepped on the rock and it tripped and you and you were tripped. And, yeah, that's a bummer, but just take responsibility and and maybe you'll see the rock next time and step over it. Right? And so that's where I started. You know, God isn't asking us to to to create mindless drones. God isn't asking us as parents and God isn't asking us to create immature, irresponsible beings, right? We get a gift of a short period of time where we can really help guide and direct and coach and discipline and love our children to a place where they can be responsible adults. And so then that's where I started, and then I sort of reverse engineered back. Okay. So what are the things that a responsible adult would have need to needed to have done in order to become a responsible adult? Well, so the the 18 year old rite of passage is more about, like, helping them sort of land on their feet out there in the world and not not not being afraid of the world.

[00:14:55]

Aaron Guyett: You know, if we if we if our fear is in God, if we love God and we know God loves us, then there's not gonna be anything in the world that that's going to take us out. Right? From well, I guess, from a a a eschatological and and spiritual sense. Right? And so, yeah, the the flesh may die, but the spirit will live on in eternity with the lord, which is beautiful. And so it's sort of like, hey, how do I get you onto your feet? But then the 16 year old rite of passage needs to be something where they have taken great amounts of responsibility and then been forced into all sorts of of variables and unknowns. And so I was like, man, how how could how could we do this best? And so what we decided is that I think 10 days and 10 days we could do it with with the family. It doesn't have to be with random, you know, unknown people, but with the family. But then we'll we'll go into the mountains, and we'll do a 10 day backpacking trip. And if we go into the mountains, we know the mountains are going to give the the variables that are constantly going to be changing, the challenge and the difficulty of weather constantly changing, terrain that is constantly changing.

[00:16:08]

Aaron Guyett: And so there will be, what what see what can seem to be a 10 day journey can seem to be on day 0. Right? But so then that's gonna force them to be responsible for the training that leads up to it, for the supply caches that you'll you'll need to find along the way. And then inevitably, because bad weather, bad environments are going to create bad attitudes, you're going to also have to deal with now. You're going to have to lead through the potentials of bad behavior, bad bad attitudes, problems that arise that are inevitably going to arise. And so and so then to be able to do that, you're gonna need certain basic skills that will make you just confident in living that, hey. If the worst case scenario happens, I'm still gonna be fine. I'm gonna be able to find shelter, build shelter, find food, eat, find water, you know, all of these things. And then not to mention the, of course, the the basics of truth, goodness and beauty that God shows in his general revelation in nature but also in his special revelation.

[00:17:14]

Aaron Guyett: And so the 12 year old rite of passage sort of sets the stage or builds the foundation for the 16 year old rite of passage. And and if they never backpack again, that's fine. My goal isn't to try to make them a hop, like a backpacking hobbyist or something. The the goal is that they need to to be given the responsibility with guardrails. So I'm gonna be there the whole time if this thing goes way off, you know, out out of the guardrails or whatever. But but they're given the responsibility. They have to come up with a training plan. They have to come up with the the route.

[00:17:52]

Aaron Guyett: They have to come up with how many miles we're gonna go a day. They have to come up with what we're gonna eat and how that's gonna sustain us through the whole thing and what we're gonna drink. And then if it doesn't sustain us, how are we gonna pick up our supplies? And did you call this person and that person to coordinate it? And so there's all these leadership dynamics that are happening inside of that, which is, you know, having good foresight. And and then when things go awry because things will inevitably, that they take responsibility for that. And then they they adjust because that is life. Like, that is what they're gonna encounter. And so that's a an example of one. And I've talked to other parents and they've done, like, hunting trips and they've done, you know, other different but every single one has some sort of challenge, physical, mental, spiritual component to it.

[00:18:40]

Aaron Guyett: Every single one has a certain amount of time. It's it's not just an hour. Right, it's gonna have to be a couple of days in order to really put you in that place where it's like, dang, oh, we're out here. Like, this is happening and we could fail. And those are good feelings to test and to be a proving ground for for leadership. And it would and at the end of it, there's, you know, the 5 day rite of passes that we just did for 12 12 years old. I would be lying if I didn't say every day she was smiling and happy and it was easy. No.

[00:19:16]

Aaron Guyett: Every day she cried at least once and it was really hard. But crying is okay. I mean, that's gonna happen in life, you know. And, but then every day she was triumphant. Every day she reached victory. Now she has this this is kind of a cool anecdotal story. So she had to build a shelter, right, with a handsaw and a knife. She had a handsaw and a knife and then, some rope.

[00:19:40]

Aaron Guyett: Right? Some 550 cord. And she goes out she's we live way out in the boonies. So she goes, you know, off of our, property. She's, like, building this shelter. She comes back and she's crying, and her knee is bleeding. And she goes and she goes, dad, I don't know if I could do this. I I slipped with the hand saw. And mind you, we've taught her how to use the handsaw safely and knife safely.

[00:20:05]

Aaron Guyett: It's not like we've just given it to her for the first time. Lots of training has gone into this, but she slipped. Right? And it hit her knee. And and she was crying Well, I told her, I was like, well, clean it off, bandage it up, get back out there. You still gotta build the shelter. Like, it still has to be done. This is the final day of her 12 year old rite of passage. Last night, I was praying for her as she was going to bed, and she's showing me the scar now that is from this hand saw.

[00:20:33]

Aaron Guyett: And she goes, I hope I can keep this scar for the rest of my life to remind me of this rite of passage and that I was able to persevere even when things got tough and I cut myself. And I was just, my just my heart swelled, man. Yeah. It was incredible. But that is right. That's it. Right? Like, we're gonna have scars. We're gonna it's we're gonna have problems, but we're gonna persevere.

[00:20:58]

Aaron Guyett: We're gonna be responsible and and do it.

[00:21:00]

Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. I love, like, so many I know you're a counselor. Maybe you can talk into it, but I love how Yeah. You're actually teaching your children to be comfortable with all sorts of emotions and to sit with them.

[00:21:12]

Aaron Guyett: Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:21:13]

Sharlene Licciardello: I I love that. I mean, from what I'm hearing, like, these rites of passage, and it sounds like, obviously, there's a lot of preparation beforehand, to lead them up to it. You're actually building resilient children. You're building resilient people to learn how to experience these different emotions and be okay with it. Like, you know, you're gonna cry. You know, you're gonna hurt yourself and it's okay. But as long as you are triumphant, that's gonna teach you something.

[00:21:36]

Stephen Licciardello: That's

[00:21:36]

Aaron Guyett: right. Yeah. And even even in there's a lot of failure leading up to it, right, in training and stuff. And it but failure wasn't ever final, you know? It's like, no, well, tomorrow is another day and we still have to train and okay, you didn't you weren't able to do your swim or you weren't able to do your run or you weren't able you know, do what you were supposed to do, how how are we gonna, you know, redesign our schedule or or build better habits or routines to help make sure that these things happen? And the the I think the greatest part of it from my perspective is that it held me it made me more responsible. I had a much higher level of of expectation, but then also with that, a much higher level of responsibility. If she wasn't ready, that would have been on me. You know? She was she's a child at this point. Right? And she's not an adolescent.

[00:22:29]

Aaron Guyett: Yeah. She doesn't have that freedom and responsibility. And she's obviously older and and becoming a little bit more responsible just in the way in which she thinks. However, it's that's not that's that's not that wasn't her job. She didn't come up with it. She's not, you know and and so, man, I was like, this is holding parents accountable more than even children for to do their job, really, like to do what they have been positioned to do. But I think a lot of times we we give ourselves outs and, oh, I'm tired and I'm this and it's like, well, yeah, I'm tired, but this I wanna do right by my children and do right by the Lord, and so I've got to give them my best right now.

[00:23:12]

Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. That's so good. You know, I'm just while you're talking about this, I'm, like, thinking of the adult child and who hasn't had that rite of passage. What would you say to them? Like, could they design a rite of passage? Could they design something for themselves even at that adult stage, but to mature in their spirit or to mature and to get over those wounds that haven't entered into that adult stage?

[00:23:39]

Aaron Guyett: Maybe. And and I say maybe just I ran something called the commando course. It was like a and I did it once a year for 5 years and and tried to essentially create something like that and and just something that that people could sort of hang their hats on even if they were responsible adults. Say, man, I I did this really hard thing. And then I was honored to to be able to be a cadre or a sort of a leader, right, with this group that did something similar called the special forces experience. And it was a really difficult physical, mental, spiritual process for men to undertake and see if they could finish it. And even the guys that quit said that they got so much out of it. But then it's interesting is, you know, I look back on some of the people that went through those and some of them just went back to their normal lives, right? And so that transformation, that transformative moment didn't stick.

[00:24:40]

Aaron Guyett: And so I think sometimes the path of least resistance, it's least resisting, so it's attractive and it's easy, but that's not always going to be the thing that it is that a responsible adult will do because the path of least resistance is to abdicate responsibility. Right? The unfortunate part of that is the the farsighted person is going to see that, inevitably, that's going to lead to much greater problems down the road. Right? And and so but but we are never the farsighted person when we're emotionally making those decisions to abdicate our responsibility in the in the time. And so I think it those those sorts of sort of mountain type experiences, if you will, are great grounds in which we can plant the seed, but sometimes the seed doesn't take. Right? And and the thing is that's, to me, it's like, well, that is out of God's great grace. That's how the cosmos were created. So in order for the seed to take, you're gonna have to water it daily. Right? You're gonna have to tend to it daily.

[00:25:47]

Aaron Guyett: And so this you have this transformative moment. You have this environment change. Right? You have, you know, whatever the case might be that that shifts the way in which, okay, now I'm gonna start taking responsibility. I'm gonna stop being immature. You have this great opportunity there, but woe to that person that just ends up doing, especially if if you didn't like what you were doing yesterday and yesteryear, woe to that person that falls back into those patterns and those habits and those routines and behaviors because it's easy to do. All all of us do it to some degree. Right? And so, yeah, so I say maybe, unfortunately.

[00:26:30]

Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. Yeah. That and that's a good point because, you know, there are a lot of, you know, books written, like Christian books that have been written, and and I'm thinking of World at Heart for instance. And Yep. And, you know, you know, reading that book, it it talks about the wound and it talks about what you're talking about that there is no right of passage, and that's where a lot of men have their wound and and bring in healing to that wound, and it and it refers to it as a wound. So I'm really liking your perspective because your perspective is, well, yeah, maybe it will, maybe it won't, you know? There's a lot of factors. It's just not that activity that's gonna do it, you know? And and then I'm thinking when you were talking about your daughter and the scar that certain people haven't gone through an initiation like you call her a rite of passage, that life has given them the scars

[00:27:24]

Aaron Guyett: to mature.

[00:27:25]

Stephen Licciardello: That's right. You know? And so they wear their scars on their heart. So I'm I'm liking what you're saying in regards to that. With, with your experience, and maybe it will, maybe it won't, it depends on the person, you talk about being leaders of leaders and teaching men or women how to be leaders of leaders. And I think one of the key issues is people don't know how to lead themselves.

[00:27:51]

Aaron Guyett: That's right. Yeah.

[00:27:52]

Stephen Licciardello: And so that's part of the factors that are coming into play here. Do you wanna talk about your first of all, talk about what Leaders of Leaders is to you and and what that program means and what you do there. And

[00:28:05]

Aaron Guyett: Mhmm.

[00:28:05]

Stephen Licciardello: What are some ways people can begin to lead themselves daily?

[00:28:09]

Aaron Guyett: Yep. Yeah. So first of all, leaders of leaders, just like lord of lords, king of kings. Right? We know that that's Jesus Christ. So we know that Christ is Lord of leadership. He's the boss of leadership. He's the leader of all leaders. And so that's sort of where that's actually what that has morphed into.

[00:28:28]

Aaron Guyett: Before, it was a systematic approach to intentional leadership, but every time I would try to sort of structure out a a good, healthy system, it was undeniably in Christ when it was the healthiest and the best. Right? And so then I I just stopped saying that and just started saying, well, Jesus Christ is lord of leadership. Obviously, duh. Right? If he is god, truly god, truly man, then this is this is the person that we're going to glean the the right approach to leading. And so we're gonna have that professional will, but we're also gonna have that personal humility. Right? And that's the Jim Collins leader level 5 leadership. But it but that is what Jesus Christ presented perfectly, right? Perfect submission to his father, yet great authority on earth, right? And so it's like this incredible dynamic that for us is really difficult to do, but simple to hear and and sort of simple to walk out until we come up against whether it's an ethical dilemma or a time where we're ran ragged and and emotionally spent. Right? And so then we we don't really have a way in which we can approach something.

[00:29:49]

Aaron Guyett: So I I started to think about it. I I the the only way we can lead well. So if if even my 5 year old son has a sphere of influence. Right? He has he has friends, kids that he can influence, and he can take responsibility as a as a leader of those little leaders, or he could not. Right? And so we have to have it has to begin with an appropriate a proper worldview, proper belief. If if we don't have right belief, then we're walking on a on something that that doesn't have a solid foundation. Or we're what I liken it to is we're actually floating without gravity and space, thinking that we're walking somewhere, but actually we're just staying in the same place. Right? And so it it must begin with with right worldview.

[00:30:38]

Aaron Guyett: And, obviously, I believe that that is the the Christian worldview. So that's that's the way in which I approach it, but I encourage and challenge even people if I talk to them and they don't have that worldview. I'm like, okay, well, test the soundness of that worldview then and test the foundation of that. And if it's if it's a strong foundation, then you should be able to walk from point a to point b. And and so then and point b is going to be the the vision, the vision in which you cast. And so we are gonna have individuated purpose. Right? Our purpose is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. Our purpose is to, love God and love others.

[00:31:17]

Aaron Guyett: Our purpose is to disciple in Christ and disciple others. These are just normative purposes of the human being, period. Whether you're man, woman, adult, child, doesn't matter. Right? This this is these are just our purposes. This is why we exist. And so then and then and then there's going to be specific individual purposes because God made you a certain way. He gave you certain strengths. He gave you gave you certain skills.

[00:31:44]

Aaron Guyett: And so then that's gonna help you clarify and and and detail out that vision of where you're going. But then if you don't have good values that are gonna guide you to that, it's gonna be really easy for you to depart from that narrow road, depart from that path. And and so those are sort of the the three beginnings. And then after that, I would say priorities, priorities over balance, prioritizing relationships rightly, time rightly, right? And so all of these have more qualitative than quantitative, but also it starts to become quantitative at that point where it's like, I can measure this. But that's those first three are crucial to lead ourselves. And so I encourage people that if you haven't given this discipleship in Christ thing a go, if this followership of Christ thing a go, create create a day 0 where you come come to the point of your the end of yourself, so to speak, in the beginning of of Christ and say, yeah. I'm if obviously you believe this, but if you do, then it's like, okay, well, I will be I will be leading appropriately. I will be I will be given an opportunity to be a leader of other leaders in Christ.

[00:33:02]

Aaron Guyett: And so, okay, what is that gonna look like? Well, that's gonna look like discipleship. And so daily things that that are gonna be incumbent upon me to do is to build a habit which turned into a routine, which turns into a lifestyle that you can commit to Christ that have daily prayer. If God is God and and we are not, then then we must be communicating with God every single day and at all times, as Paul says, right, in all occasions. But but prayer, daily prayer, daily reading of scripture, and and but I put this thing first, worship. Worship the only one that's worthy of worship. Because here's the thing, if you don't worship God or triune God, you're designed to worship human. You will worship something, guaranteed. You're not putting God as as your worship.

[00:33:51]

Aaron Guyett: You will worship your work. You will worship money. You will worship relationships. You will worship your wife or your husband. And those things are not worthy of worship and they will lead you astray. If you're worshiping God, then you will give your best to your wife. You'll give your best to your children. You'll give your best to your work.

[00:34:12]

Aaron Guyett: You'll give your even you'll do the best and be the most responsible with money if you have right relationship with God. And so it's worship, prayer, scripture or worship, scripture, prayer. And then I added in journaling and exercise. And then the last one, love. If you're doing those 6 things and love is what we are called to do, and so what does that look like? Well, it looks like a lot of things. And so write one down and do that today and see see what God provides in that moment of bringing flowers to your to your wife or hugging your children and telling them that you love them or I mean, there's so many, you know, things that you can do to love. But I I think if you're taking those six things, making them a habit, taking that habit, turning it into a routine, taking that routine and turning it into a lifestyle, that is a lifestyle worthy of of committing to Christ for the rest of your life. And I think that you'll find that those kind of small moments, where you're doing that really help clarify who you are as a leader and how you are going to lead because I am not here to tell you you need to lead in this perfect, you know, whatever way because you're designed different than I am, so there's gonna be nuances to yours.

[00:35:27]

Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. That's great. It's like you're just giving foundations and principles, but then you bring your giftings to that

[00:35:34]

Aaron Guyett: That's right.

[00:35:34]

Stephen Licciardello: Which is great. Talk to us about discipled in Christ, the app. Is this an app that you've developed? And just as we close off, just talk to us about this and also how people can get a hold of the app.

[00:35:47]

Aaron Guyett: Yeah. So the last thing I wanted to do is build an app because I had done that before in the fitness realm and I was like, man, I know how painfully hard and costly from a time and money standpoint this is. But the Lord was really gracious and it was the first time ever committed to a project and had it actually be a third of the time that we anticipated it was gonna take, a third of the cost dollars wise that we because usually it goes 3 times what you think. Right? And so and so, obviously, the Lord opened that opened that door and but I had a really good friend who went through I had a course called 100 and His Strength, and it was to walk people through what I just had talked about. Right? Worship, scripture, prayer, journaling, exercise, and love daily to to make those things habits, routines, and then lifestyle and commit it to Christ. Right? 30 days for the habit, 30 days for the routine, 30 days for the lifestyle. Well, this guy walked through it. He's like, this was life changing.

[00:36:46]

Aaron Guyett: We need to make this into an app. And I was like, you got it, buddy. You can go do that. But we ended up doing it. And so that that's kind of the cornerstone course inside of of the app. And then there's since been other courses added, the rite of passage. There's a rite of passage course in there. All of them are free, convicted, by the Lord that we're gonna just be donor donation based.

[00:37:08]

Aaron Guyett: That is it. So I'll go do talks and things like that and, you know, I'll get paid for those, but but the app is 100% free. The the 100 in his strength is in there and there's the rite of passage and there's a logic, or thinking well to the glory of God which is like a logic course for for children and adults. There's a 52 week scripture memory course that's in there and all you have to do is get your smartphone and get into the app store, type in discipled, past tense, discipled in Christ. It pops up and you download it and now you have it. Whether you have an Android or iPhone, doesn't matter. You've got the app. That's the easiest way to get a hold of me too.

[00:37:47]

Aaron Guyett: If you wanna reach out, find me in there, Aaron Galliette, and then, click I wanna be your friend, and then you can message me. So it has, like, a almost like a Facebook like a social media like, function to it as well, which we thought was good to help with building community, building accountability, building, you know, brotherhood, sisterhood, small groups, things like that can sort of gravitate towards that. Churches can can use this as well to connect with with their people. So in discipleship in the these particular courses if they choose to do them. So, yeah, that's that's discipled in Christ. And then it's it's a website as well. So all those same things, if you're like, I have a dumb phone, that's fine. Just go on to just get on your desktop if you have one, or go to the library, get on the desktop.

[00:38:33]

Aaron Guyett: And, yeah, you can get on the website.

[00:38:35]

Sharlene Licciardello: That's really great. I mean, obviously, that's something that was quite challenging for you because you didn't want to do it at the first. So what would you say was the greatest thing you've learned from doing this?

[00:38:45]

Aaron Guyett: Well, the the greatest thing I learned, and I should know this by now, it's it's happened enough times, but if God is for it, who can be against it? Amen. And and there's, you know, and there's gonna be there's gonna be challenges. There's gonna be that that is that is the life that we live in. And and I think, you know, obviously pain and and mourning loss and stuff like that, that is our fallen world. But but challenge, you know, that's we misnomer that. We often just only think of it in the negative. Like, no. Challenge has made me such a a better man, a a better husband, right, a a better father.

[00:39:24]

Aaron Guyett: Challenge is great, you know, and so we can kind of love the challenges and the obstacles even in the moment if we can reframe and enjoy. And then we can count it joy, right, as it says in scripture, because we know this is ordained by God. Like God has written this part, this obstacle into my story. And so there is a purpose behind it even if it's, tough and challenging in the moment.

[00:39:51]

Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. That's brilliant. It's like we always say, there's no testimony without the test. That's right. So people want the testimony, but they don't want the test. Absolutely. And the 2 go hand in hand. Aaron, it has been such a great hearing from you, but I'm I'm actually really excited.

[00:40:07]

Stephen Licciardello: Like, I I need to download this app, now. So I'm really excited. I'm gonna do that as soon as we get off today's podcast. But as we close, would you pray for our audience listening today and those that are struggling with developing those habits and developing those routines and lifestyle and and just that yeah. Just as you're led by the spirit, if you could just pray for them.

[00:40:29]

Aaron Guyett: Yes. Absolutely. God, you are, amazing. You created all of us and all of this, and you sustain it in being, and you are in the process of redeeming it all to you, all to yourself. And so we just we just worship you. You are the only being that is worthy of worship, And we love you, and we know that you are the holder of truth and goodness and beauty, and we see it all around us every day. And because of that, we know that you establish appropriate leadership, appropriate responsibility, appropriate freedom in your son, Jesus Christ. And we, through him, can can come to the father.

[00:41:15]

Aaron Guyett: And you've gifted us with the the holy spirit, and that spirit impress upon and and moves our spirit to conviction or to confirmation or to just an awareness of of what is or what isn't. And so, god, I just pray that you lead each of the listeners and the the 2, gracious hosts, Steven and Sharlene, that you just have your hand upon them and and lead them, guide them, direct them toward this greater understanding of you, this greater understanding of the amazing opportunity of authority that you've gifted us in our spheres of influence that we become the leaders that honor you in each of the thoughts that we have and each of the the words that we choose to speak and in the actions that we take day in and day out as we continue to live in you and and for eternity. We give each each listener to you that you would mold them, correct them, give them the challenges, and and give them the awareness to take joy in those challenges and in those obstacles, that those are the things that you are using to build them and to shape them to become greater glorifiers of you. And may we continue to pursue your glory and and honor and enjoy you for the rest of eternity. And I pray this all in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen.

[00:42:54]

Stephen Licciardello: Aaron, thank you for your time. And if you wanna know more about Aaron and his app, you can go to the App Store like Aaron said, but you can also check it out on the show notes to in the link below. Again, Aaron, thank you.

[00:43:06]

Sharlene Licciardello: Thank you, Aaron.

[00:43:07]

Aaron Guyett: Thank you so much. It was an honor.

[00:43:10]

Stephen Licciardello: That was, awesome.

[00:43:13]

Sharlene Licciardello: Thank you for joining us on the Rewrite Your Story podcast.

[00:43:16]

Stephen Licciardello: We hope you found this episode enlightening.

[00:43:18]

Sharlene Licciardello: For more information on the topics discussed, please visit our website at stevenandsharlene.com.

[00:43:23]

Stephen Licciardello: Don't forget to subscribe to our podcast on your favorite platform. Share with your friends and follow us on social media at steven and Sharlene.

[00:43:30]

Sharlene Licciardello: Until next time, stay informed and inspired.

[00:43:32]

Stephen Licciardello: This is steven and Sharlene signing off from the rewrite your story podcast. Thank you, and stay blessed.