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Stephen Licciardello: Studies have shown when you take goals and and you identify them that you increase them by combining some sort of visualization. So because the unconscious mind doesn't know between make believe or real. So when we see the goal as though we have achieved it and and we do our technique in the

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Sharlene Licciardello: Are you at a point in your life where you know you need a change, but find yourself always falling back into bad habits?

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Stephen Licciardello: Or perhaps you're not sure where to start?

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Sharlene Licciardello: In today's episode, we explore how to embrace change and get comfortable with the uncomfortable so you can find the beauty on the other side of discomfort.

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Stephen Licciardello: Stay till the end to find out how one person created generational change that is helping millions of vision impaired people around the world. Let's dive in.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Welcome to rewrite your story. The podcast where change begins with you.

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Stephen Licciardello: We're your host, Stephen and Sharlene.

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Sharlene Licciardello: As professional coaches and mentors trained in various modalities, we have helped hundreds of people

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Stephen Licciardello: Bridge the gap between the person they

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Sharlene Licciardello: are and the person they want to be.

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Stephen Licciardello: We bring you conversations with real people who have overcome real setbacks.

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Sharlene Licciardello: You will walk away with practical steps to find more clarity, alignment, and success in any area you want to improve.

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Stephen Licciardello: So join us and discover how you have the power to overcome, to change, and to rewrite your story.

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Sharlene Licciardello: So pick up the pen. Your new chapter starts now.

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Stephen Licciardello: Well, today, Sharlene, we're talking about change and how to motivate yourself for change. And really change is part of rewriting your story because, you know, nothing happens.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Without change.

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Stephen Licciardello: Nothing happens if nothing happens. And one of the most interesting or frequent questions we get asked by the audience is, well, I know that I wanna rewrite my story, but how do I change or how do I stay focused or motivated by change? And I remember many years ago, and I think I've quoted this before, John Maxwell in his book, Today Matters. He states that the decision is made once

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Sharlene Licciardello: And acted on daily.

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Stephen Licciardello: But acted on daily. And that's the same with change. We can make a decision to change once.

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Sharlene Licciardello: That's right.

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Stephen Licciardello: But sometimes, it's the unlearning of habits.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yes. Absolutely. And that's it. That's the unlearning of habits, isn't it?

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. Because our habits, you know, if you look at our lives and and what motivates us, we are are a sum total of our habits or our daily actions.

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Sharlene Licciardello: That's right.

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Stephen Licciardello: You know? So looking at it in that point of view can really motivate us to change Yes. When we realize that change is a matter of unlearning habits, relearning new habits, making that decision once, but acting upon that decision daily. So in your opinion, Sharlene, working with, as a counselor, and I can come to it as a a coaching point of view, why do you think change is so difficult?

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Sharlene Licciardello: No. I think a lot of people have either gone through, either a lot of trauma, bad experiences with change. They may have had some bad, changes that were out of their control, and it's a big scary world for them, like, the fact that they have to change. There's also, like, if you look at it, there's a lot of psychological conditions that people find hard to embrace change. They really need to have a constant routine, and if anything changes, that's it just throws them completely out.

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Stephen Licciardello: So it's more like the unknown of change or the or the uncertainty of change?

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Sharlene Licciardello: Uncertainty, the fear, the sense of not being safe.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. So I think the first thing is realizing that the resistance to change is one of the first areas we need to change. Yeah. Now if we look at it from a coaching point of view, it is the neuro pathways that have been created through that habit and redirecting or reforming those neuro pathways.

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Sharlene Licciardello: That's right.

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Stephen Licciardello: You know, and one of the things that we can look at is things like a simple swish pattern. Now we won't go into what a swish pattern is here, but

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah.

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Stephen Licciardello: You know, like something really simple as a swish pattern can reprogram and form brand new neuro pathways that allow people to create change.

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Sharlene Licciardello: That's right.

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Stephen Licciardello: And it's the dissociation of the habit to that neuro pathway.

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Sharlene Licciardello: And it's it's almost like it seems like magic, but it's actually our brain just doing all the work for us.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. And change can actually be really simple with coaching,

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah.

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Stephen Licciardello: You know, and techniques that are available. For instance, there are some great techniques that we use, one of them being a swish pattern, parts integration, a few things like that that can really look at change. But then you spoke about the triggering or going to the past events. So something, for instance, like your blueprint and relooking at that blueprint within that within your mind. And, again, when we look at blueprint, it's just a unconscious pathway that has been created that we wanna change and disassociate with.

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Sharlene Licciardello: That's right. I mean, if you look at it, Steven, like, our our brains, like, us, our human brains are focused and, like, I guess, creativity try and keep us safe. Right? It looks like a change sometimes is taken as a threat, and that resistance to change can come as a various mechanism to keep us safe.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. Absolutely.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Potential threats.

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Stephen Licciardello: Absolutely. Because when we look at the prime objectives of the unconscious mind Mhmm. For instance, the unconscious mind always takes the path of least resistance.

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Sharlene Licciardello: That's right.

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Stephen Licciardello: And we'll always look for the easiest way to get results. So if we know that the unconscious mind looks at things literally as a 5 year old or a 4 year old, whatever it is, you know, it's gonna try to take the shortcut in everything. And sometimes change, there is no shortcut. And I think people need to get over the idea that change is easy because the decision to change is easy. The working out of the change is not easy. And it, you know, reminds me of and I don't even know where it is, but I believe it was Paul that wrote, work out your own salvation. Now we know that salvation happens in an instant Yeah. When we accept Christ as our savior.

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Stephen Licciardello: But why would Paul say work it out yourself? Yeah. You know? So there's there's that working out when we change.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. So it's like salvation is just the beginning of the story. It's not the end of

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Stephen Licciardello: the story. Exactly. Right? When we accept Christ. So I think we change. There's a working out that that is required. And, you know, I think if we look at the prime directives of the unconscious mind always seeking the path of least resistance, then we need to be able to work with our unconscious mind in that area, but also know at a conscious level that there is a working out.

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Sharlene Licciardello: That's right.

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Stephen Licciardello: So maybe what we need to do is introduce the least resistance to the working out. Does that make sense?

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.

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Stephen Licciardello: And you know what? I think it's confirmed in Romans 12:2. It says, don't be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that by testing, you may discern what is the will of god and what's good is acceptable and his perfect will. So with any change, even the Bible says, it's got to do with the renewing of your mind. Yeah. And so working at that unconscious level to avoid the resistance of change is important.

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Sharlene Licciardello: That's right. You know, it made me think, Steven, like, a lot of people are resistant to change because I think they have to just automatically stop everything that they're doing and embrace something in order to be embraced in order to be able to embrace something new. And that sometimes seems scary because there's it's so something so familiar to them. Right? But I always like to, sometimes when I'm working with clients, just to introduce something new every day. Just one thing new. One thing new. It doesn't mean they have to think about getting rid of anything, but just add something to it. Just insert that in somewhere where they would usually do something else instead and put a pause in between that pattern.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. So it's a

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Sharlene Licciardello: pattern interrupt.

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Stephen Licciardello: A pattern interrupt. Yeah. So learning how to pattern interrupt yourself. Yes. So I think one of the key takeaways in this is recognizing that resistance to change is actually normal. Yeah. You know, we all resist what we don't know. But understand that the reason behind the resistance can actually help you address and overcome the change needed to rewrite your story.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Absolutely. You know what? Viktor Frankl actually says, when we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.

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Stephen Licciardello: That's powerful. You know? And I know you absolutely love that book, Man's Search for Meaning Yeah. And use Victor Frankl a lot. And, you know, if we look at if for our audience that don't know the background of his story, do you wanna just tell them a little bit?

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. Absolutely. Basically, he's actually a doctor. He's like a psychologist who's somehow gotten himself into the concentration camps. It's back in those days of the concentration camps, and it's his experience of seeing the people in those environments and the difference between the people who had to develop and found had a reason to live and to get through it. They were able to preserve their faith. They were able to serve their positive outlook and still find a way to get through that and survive. Whereas a lot of the people who felt like they didn't have any more reason to live, and sometimes they might have started with a reason to live, but then it sort of got lost along the way.

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Sharlene Licciardello: And they either resorted to animal behavior and just allowed themselves to get lost in the whole process of devastation.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. And you know what? If we look at that, you know, the the research from the American Psychological Association actually highlights that understanding the reason for resistance can help individuals manage more effectively.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Wow. It's pretty powerful stuff. So I guess a second point is finding your why, the power of purpose. So let's have a look at some of the key points.

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Stephen Licciardello: So I think identifying you or why gives you a compelling reason to change. You know, changing for the sake of change Yeah. Because you saw it on social media or, you know, it's the latest trend or it's what everyone's doing. It's not a strong enough why.

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Sharlene Licciardello: And you're It's not sustainable.

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Stephen Licciardello: It's not sustainable. And we go back to last week's episode. Chad spoke about the father who wanted to lose weight and would not sustain it. And it wasn't until his daughter was in need. And I I thought that was such a great story. You know? It wasn't until his daughter was in need

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Sharlene Licciardello: And he couldn't

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Stephen Licciardello: And he couldn't provide, and the doctor said, if you wanna donate your kidney to her, you need to lose, I don't know how much weight, but you need to lose all this weight. And within a short period of time, he lost it because it was life and death. It was his daughter's life, and so the why became stronger.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yes. It became bigger than his how. Right?

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Stephen Licciardello: It yes. It became bigger than his how. So purpose provides direction and motivation in challenging times, and we really need to be aware of that.

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Sharlene Licciardello: That's right.

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Stephen Licciardello: So we need to have a way to reflect on our own goals and values and ask ourselves why we want change and how it aligns with our life's purpose. Do you know? I know, for instance, for me, when I'm away from my purpose in life, I'm not happy.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. Do you

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Stephen Licciardello: know what I mean? Right. So how do you know your purpose? It's what brings you joy. You know, some people struggle with purpose and and finding their purpose. And and, again, it's it's about what motivates you. What actually can you spend hours and hours doing and time just gets away from you, and you're so excited doing it. You know? Yeah. What what is your take on that?

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Sharlene Licciardello: You know, and that's one way to look at it. And also, sometimes some people might actually need to have a different approach where some people don't know how to find out, you know, what follows about, what, like, excites them. Maybe they find it just difficult. They've had some bad experiences in the past, and they they're afraid to find something that is they're passionate about. But what they could look at is what would happen if they don't change? What is going to happen if they continue doing the same thing day in, day out and look at the compounding results? You know, for example, someone who needs to get healthy and they have a very unhealthy lifestyle, what would happen if they continue with the unhealthy lifestyle? And find out, like, they'll usually come up with answers themselves, you know, and do how badly do they not want that? So sometimes it sneezes out with what they don't want to be able to find what they

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Stephen Licciardello: do want. Yeah. That's really powerful. So if I find, actually, what don't I want or what do I have right now in my life that is actually not serving me or serving others around me? And flip that to what actually is it that I want. Yeah. And then find your purpose in that and create the strong enough why in that.

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Sharlene Licciardello: That's right.

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Stephen Licciardello: Because I think what you said before, your why has gotta becomes when your why is stronger than the how Yes. The how reveals itself.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. Absolutely. And I

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Stephen Licciardello: think that's really, you know, key to to finding out. You know, I love what Jeremiah 29 says, for I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. And I think, you know, if if the almighty has good plans for us, for a good life, then how much more can we align ourselves with that? And it and again, it's about finding that alignment with his purpose and aligning that with our purpose.

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Sharlene Licciardello: That's right. So what are some of the takeaways?

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Stephen Licciardello: I think a sense of purpose can really fuel our motivation and keep us focused on our goals.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. And regularly revisiting your why to stay motivated. So making sure that your why is bigger than any how instead of thinking about how am I gonna get through this? How am I gonna do this? Thinking about all those little steps, You think about what is it? What is it like? What is your vision for what you would like to see happen? And how big is that reason? How deep is that reason?

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. Again, I know you like Viktor Frankl and Yeah. You know, one of his quotes is those who have a why to live can bear with almost any how.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Absolutely.

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Stephen Licciardello: And I think that aligns perfectly with what we're saying. When the why is stronger than the how Yeah. You know, those who have a why to live can bear with almost any how.

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Sharlene Licciardello: No. It reminds me there's that, movie called Unbroken. Was it Unruh that, guy who was, in the war? And he went through this whole being captured by the Japanese, and he was tortured.

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Stephen Licciardello: The athlete.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yes. The athlete. And his whole motto is, you know, the whole thing was, if I can make it if I can take it, I can make it.

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Stephen Licciardello: The Italian athlete.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yes. The Italian

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Stephen Licciardello: athlete. Italian American athlete. I I do remember that one.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. And his, like, his whole one, they see the whole thing, his whole mantra throughout that whole experience of suffering, being tortured, all these different experiences. His whole measure was, if I can take it, I can make it.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. So

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Sharlene Licciardello: every time he thought he was going to be crushed, every time he thought he couldn't go one more step further, he just said that to himself. If I can take it, I can make it.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. And you know what? That that brings that's a really good point is sometimes having these one liners can really help you in the in the why, staying focused on the why. Like, I know for me, when I have resistance coming my way or something's not going the way I want it to go and there's resistance, my my one liner is this is only for a season.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yes.

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Stephen Licciardello: It's only a season. Sometimes it's something.

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Sharlene Licciardello: It's a really long season.

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Stephen Licciardello: It's a long season. But it is a season.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah.

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Stephen Licciardello: You know? And and I have we have a good friend of ours, and I know her her one liner is, this too shall pass. You know? And sometimes having these one liners, you know, can really I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yes. It's probably one of my favorites.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. And I know that's the one you use a lot. And, you know, just having these one liners can really just be a pattern interrupt when you're going down that valley of despair, but also keep you focused and can actually serve as an anchor.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. Absolutely. And it it's really a positive important area again to often have, like, a visual reminder for ourselves even if it's just like a bracelet or something that we can hold on to that just reminds us during those moments of, traumatic experiences. Because the fact is when someone goes through trauma, it's like our brain has, like, this little rational side of things on the top. And then as soon as we've gone through something dramatic, it sort of flips off. You know, we've heard that term flip out. That's the rational brain flipping out, and we are left with the hippocampus, which is responsible for the memory, and it's telling us that we're experiencing that as now. The amygdala is just warning us, sending off those signals that, hey.

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Sharlene Licciardello: You're indeed new. Indeed just that's why the rational pain is flipped off because the amygdala is just going crazy. It's telling us that, hey. Something's not right. Something's not right. But it's just a memory. Know what I mean?

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. That is so good.

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Sharlene Licciardello: And so that's why it's good to have those, like, visual cues to help us bring us back into that moment of calm and reminders. Like, hey. This is what I need to remember to tell myself. Because otherwise, we forget about these resources that we have because all I think about is this memory that we have.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. That's really good. And and a couple of well, probably a while ago, we did an episode on toxic positivity and positivity and and the danger of the law the trap of the law of attraction, not the danger, but the trap of it causing more stress. And we spoke about, you know, vision boards are good if using the right purpose. So are you saying that this could be an area where a vision board can refocus?

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. Sometimes. I mean, it depends on the situation. You might not need to have something smaller. You know what I mean? Like, just a small little token that reminds you of that one statement.

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Stephen Licciardello: Very good. You know, I think if one of the the books on discovering your why or one of the the there's a great YouTube out there from Simon Sinek on, it starts with a why. But he's also written the book, it starts with a why, how great leaders inspire everyone to take action. And I and I think that is a really good starting point for anyone who is struggling with their why or struggling to find their why. Even if you don't read the book, watch the YouTube. It starts with a why because it's a great place to start. You know? And it's a great place to to get practical with. I think another step, Sharlene, is another practical approach is defining your goals or setting goals.

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Stephen Licciardello: And, you know, I personally don't like SMART goals. Yeah. And and the reason why I don't like SMART goals is I think it it's so overtaught that it's familiar now that people don't actually Take

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Sharlene Licciardello: it for granted.

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Stephen Licciardello: Take it for granted, and people don't actually implement it, you know, because, you know, you're seeing SMART goals. It's specific, you know, measurable, achievable And

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Sharlene Licciardello: who's gonna

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Stephen Licciardello: say realistic and timelines. You know? So I think, you know, sometimes when something you know, what's that saying? Familiarity breeds contempt. That's right. So sometimes when we hear something so many times, we actually become null to it. Yeah. So I think lately, I've started to use the whoop.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Whoop whoop. Whoop whoop.

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Stephen Licciardello: The WOOP goal.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Like a party.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. Yeah. And that is WOOP stands for wish, outcome, obstacle, and plan. Okay? Awesome. The first step is what is it what's what's what do you wish when setting a goal? So what is your Deepest desire. What is the yeah. What's that deepest desire that you want? And then what's the outcome? So what would be the best outcome if your wish could come? What's that gonna give you? Because a lot of people actually don't realize that it's not the actual goal that we want. It is the it's the feeling that the goal gives us.

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Stephen Licciardello: Okay? So by actually knowing the outcome or the feeling, that way we can actually achieve that and identify that a lot quicker and actually manifest that or work towards it, whatever you wanna call it or achieve that. Then you need to look at, actually, what are the obstacles?

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. Well, that's a very, realistic way of looking at it. Right?

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. So what what's gonna stand in your way? See, SMART goals doesn't really look at the obstacles. And so what happens is when someone sets a SMART goal is when that obstacle comes in their way Yeah. They actually run away or they crumble under the pressure.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. Right.

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Stephen Licciardello: Does that make sense? So so there's no main there's no forward planning of what could go wrong.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah.

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Stephen Licciardello: So when setting goals, we need to look at the obstacles. Now the obstacles can be internal or can be external. Yeah. Okay? Mhmm. It could be those habits that we haven't recreated. Yeah. It could be those neurological pathways that we need to reform. Okay? Yeah.

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Stephen Licciardello: So what are those obstacles? And then the plan, what can we do to overcome these obstacles?

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Sharlene Licciardello: Okay. Yes.

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Stephen Licciardello: So why does WOOP work? It actually combines the positive thinking with realistic planning.

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Sharlene Licciardello: I like that.

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Stephen Licciardello: Okay? Yeah. And helps and helps to identify and address the potential challenges of, proactivity.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. So a very proactive way of, like, addressing what you want to happen and also addressing what could come up in the meantime and how to address that so that you're not caught on a way when those challenges come, but knowing how can I prepare for that? What other avenues? It's almost like being able to think laterally. So what are other ways I can get around this? Can I go over it? Can I go under it? Can I go around it? Can I build a bridge?

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. That's really good. And, you know, I guess, while you're

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Sharlene Licciardello: We're gonna search her both. Well, it's not encouraging to do that to people. Okay. Sometimes you feel

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Stephen Licciardello: like anyway, that's another story. But do you know what it reminds me of when you were saying that, you know, the triple p? What is it? Prior preparation prevents piss poor performance. That's the Aussie way of saying it. Yeah. What is the proper way? Prior preparation prevents poor performance.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yes.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yes. With that, we in Australia, add a bit more peace. It it really is about that, isn't it? If you if you're looking at the obstacle, then you're preventing the poor performance because you're already equipped for it. So the practical way is to write down your whoop for each goal. Okay? And then reflect on your whoop regularly to stay focused and motivated because also obstacles are fluid. They change. Yeah. Goals change.

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Stephen Licciardello: They're fluid as well. So, you know, like, if we looked at a classic example, if you set a goal in 2019, you know, towards the end of the 2019 that you were going to go to the gym and get fit and and things like that. Well, you got hit with an obstacle in 2020 where you weren't allowed to leave your home.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Do you know

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Stephen Licciardello: what I mean? And that was an obstacle that no one foresaw coming. But also, it's things also now make our goals easier to achieve. Like, who would have thought that AI could help you rewrite your story?

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yes.

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Stephen Licciardello: You know? And and so AI is a great way. You know, chat GPT is a great way now to do research, to identify. But also, if you're rewriting your business story, you know, it's a a skill you wanna learn. Yeah. Because it's actually gonna propel and speed up your performance in that area. You know? So goals need to be fluid and need to be visited quite regularly. That's right.

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Sharlene Licciardello: So one of the biblical perspective to be that in Proverbs 16:3 says, commit your word to the Lord and your plans will be established.

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Stephen Licciardello: That's right. You know? Your plans will be established means you actually gotta make a plan.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yes. Yeah.

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Stephen Licciardello: I'm not mocking or or or degrading people that, you know, have that way of looking that they don't need to make plans because God's gonna direct their way. Hey. If that's where you are, you know, that's great. That's not where we are. You know? We believe in setting goals and then asking and committing them to the Lord. You know? So WOOP goals help you stay grounded by combining aspiration with realistic planning and addressing the obstacles head on, and that increases your chance for success.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. You know, it reminds me of I remember you were talking once in one of our goal setting seminars about making realistic goals. And one of those goals that people might sometimes say is that it's unrealistic, is I wanna have a healthy, loving relationship. Right? A romantic relationship with my wife or spouse or whatever, but that's not in your control.

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Stephen Licciardello: No. It's not. You can't make a goal for change that someone that you are not 100% responsible for. So for instance, people that set goals around, I want a great relationship. Well, that's not 100% in your control. You set a goal that the kind of partner that you're going to be

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Sharlene Licciardello: That's right.

[00:26:17]

Stephen Licciardello: And what you're gonna work as a partner. You know? And then What

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Sharlene Licciardello: are you gonna bring to the table?

[00:26:22]

Stephen Licciardello: What you're gonna bring to the table. And then maybe one of those goals is having time to sit down with your partner and now analyzing the relationship and discussing, if I bring this, what are you gonna bring? That's what they're control in controlling. It's not about demanding what you want from them because, again, you're not in control of that.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah.

[00:26:47]

Stephen Licciardello: And we what we're not in control, we can't control.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. I mean and if you have to control someone to try and love you, that's not real love at the end of the day. You're just asking for a robot really. No.

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Stephen Licciardello: And maybe, Sharlene, it could be simply as, you know, if we look at the loving relationship goal, usually people set those goals when their needs aren't fulfilled in the relationship. Yes. So maybe part of the goal is identifying what your needs are in a relationship, voicing those needs. Maybe the goal is open communication in order that you can both work on that relationship together.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Give the other person opportunity to bring something to the plate rather than having them having to read your mind about what you need.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. And if, again, if we look at the book goals, studies have shown when you take goals and and you identify them that you increase them by combining some sort of visualization. So because, again, the unconscious mind doesn't know between make believe or real. So when we see the goal as though we have achieved it and and we do a technique in the blueprint, reprint, that helps you and your unconscious mind believe that you have already there at the fulfillment of your goal. And I think that is a crucial part. A lot of people set goals, but they don't see themselves in the possession of the goal, nor do they but most importantly, feel the feelings of the possession of the goal. Like, what are you gonna feel?

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Sharlene Licciardello: Inspiration trying to get there because they're not there yet Yeah. In the feeling.

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Stephen Licciardello: And so visualization and the feeling is so important when it comes to goal. And I think the final key to to change and to motivate yourself and to keep motivated is community. Yeah. You speak about it all the time. What? Having your support system either with a coach or a mentor. But I also want to share that your goal does not need to be shared with everybody.

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Sharlene Licciardello: That's right.

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Stephen Licciardello: Okay? You wanna choose wise counsel, wise mentorship when sharing your goal.

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Sharlene Licciardello: That's right. Yeah. Listen, reliable sources. You know, you you wouldn't go to like, you you wouldn't want to go to a plumber for accounting advice. Right? Unless they're then less they're gonna account it themselves. I don't know. Who knows? But, you know, you would wanna go to someone who had experience in one area Yeah. And no experience in what you actually need, telling you what to do in the area that you need that's nothing to do with them.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. And I think we've spoken about this before. I think sometimes when we share our goal, out of excitement, those closest to you tend to discourage you because they don't wanna see you hurt, or they don't wanna see you not achieving that goal. So it's easier for me to discourage you in the pursuit of the goal than encourage you in the pursuit of the goal. Yeah. And so I think that's really important that, you know, sometimes sharing a goal should be done with a coach or a mentor. Do you know what I mean?

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Sharlene Licciardello: Right.

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Stephen Licciardello: Rather than family and friends. Because human nature is sometimes we encourage people to achieve their goals. But then when they're in the pursuit of them, we discourage them because the change in them does not meet our needs.

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Sharlene Licciardello: That's right. So it's more about them. You know, now and then, like, some people may be fortunate enough to have really supportive family that are all there for them and encourage them to pursue their dreams and to go ahead and do that and let them know that they're they're there for you in the background. But, unfortunately, the truth is that not everybody's like that. We don't always, not everyone has a good healthy family. Not some people have toxic family members. You know what I mean? And that doesn't mean you don't love them, but you just need to choose who you share your goals with.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. And there are a lot of support networks out there. You know, like, if we look at, Facebook, you know, there are a lot of Facebook groups now dedicated to specific goals and things like that where people encourage them. And, you know, we have the rewrite your story, closed group where people share their goals and their achievements and and, you know, we become their cheerleaders and and help them along that journey. So if you don't have a support group, you know, feel free to join the, rewrite your story Facebook group as well. So joining a group is so important. And you know what? I love what first Thessalonians says, 511. Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up just as you are doing.

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Stephen Licciardello: And I and I think that's the key. You know? We wanna really encourage people. So if we look at that, a strong support system can provide the motivation, encouragement, but not only that, the accountability, which is is something that we hate, you know, to be held accountable because it's used in such a a negative connotation. But, you know, I go back to Chad last week and and how he spoke about discipline, and sometimes we just need those people to get around that and and, you know, be disciplined. And I can't remember if it was Chad or you, but you were talking about it afterwards. And I think you mentioned more if you look at the word discipline, it comes from the word disciple. You know? And Yeah. It was him? Yeah.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. And then, you know, looking at that as well. So if we look at discipline and accountability and disciple, it's almost as though, you know, we're becoming built that path before us.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. Yeah. Submitting, like, you know, your plans to someone who can give you clear direction.

[00:32:29]

Stephen Licciardello: Look at it from a a different perspective.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. So, you know, killing kill us is alone. You can do so little, and together, we can do so much.

[00:32:37]

Stephen Licciardello: Yeah.

[00:32:38]

Sharlene Licciardello: You know, we can't do everything all by ourselves. Otherwise, we would be on our own planet or something, but we wouldn't be with other people.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. And and let me give, a little bit background a bit on that saying. So Helen Keller, people know, was, blind, and, you know, she she

[00:32:55]

Sharlene Licciardello: Blind, deaf, deaf.

[00:32:56]

Stephen Licciardello: I think she she was blind and deaf. You're right. Right? And there's a great it's a very old movie around Helen Keller. But that particular saying was, if you're aware of Lions Club International, you know, they're a huge organization. And that's when that was in the, you know, beginning stages of Lions Club. I don't know the full story. They either approached Helen Keller or she was a speaker there, and they became ambassadors for the blind, and they became, you know, the vision is a big part of their ethos, to raise money for the blind, to raise money for, you know, like, we look at Australia, you know, we look at the, cornea transplant is run by the Lions. You know, it's funded by the Lions at the Sydney Eye Hospital.

[00:33:43]

Stephen Licciardello: And so Helen Keller, back then, gave them a a mantle to basically help the blind. And that saying was, alone, we can do so little, but together, we can do so much. And so she's actually addressing the Lions Club International. And now we're talking about over a 100 like, Lions Club is over a 100 years, and they have clubs throughout the world, and they still stand upon that quote that Helen Keller gave them so many years ago. Yeah. And so vision, like, I know 1 at one stage, you did something with the Lions for vision, like, you were one of their vision ambassadors and did fundraising.

[00:34:21]

Sharlene Licciardello: That's a while ago now.

[00:34:22]

Stephen Licciardello: It's a while ago now. But remember you did that Yeah. Bit of fundraising and and was their ambassador for that. They have taken that mantle, that discipline, that discipleship, and were mentored by her, and still it continues generation after generation. So change and rewriting your story is a generational thing, not just a now thing.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. So it doesn't just affect you. It affects many generations to come.

[00:34:50]

Stephen Licciardello: And Helen Keller and that one quote that she said to the lions is proof of generational change.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Absolutely.

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Stephen Licciardello: You know? And I think that's so important. So if we look at, you know, studies, we know that support systems work. Yeah. Yep. So I guess, Sharlene, what would you like to as as summing this episode out, what would you like to encourage our audience?

[00:35:15]

Sharlene Licciardello: You know, I think really learn to see change as a friend. Yes. Some changes aren't always great, but there's other areas in our life that it will impact on a very profoundly positive way that we didn't realize could happen. A lot of change can be uncomfortable at first, but when we learn to embrace it and get comfortable with the discomfort, you'll find that the beauty happens on the other side of that comfort, out of our comfort zone.

[00:35:44]

Stephen Licciardello: That's great. Beauty happens on the other side of our comfort zone.

[00:35:48]

Sharlene Licciardello: Side. Thank you for joining us on the Rewrite Your Story podcast.

[00:35:51]

Stephen Licciardello: We hope you found this episode enlightening.

[00:35:53]

Sharlene Licciardello: For more information on the topics discussed, please visit our website at stevenandSharlene.com.

[00:35:58]

Stephen Licciardello: Don't forget to subscribe to our podcast on your favorite platform. Share with your friends and follow us on social at stevenandsharlene.

[00:36:04]

Sharlene Licciardello: Until next time, stay informed and inspired.

[00:36:07]

Stephen Licciardello: This is steven and Sharlene signing off from the rewrite your story podcast. Thank you, and stay blessed.