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Sharlene Licciardello: One time before, I was actually about to train a group of people, and I was so nervous. And I was telling you about how nervous I was, and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to do it. But you said

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Stephen Licciardello: Have you set out to do something significant or pursuing a big goal?

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Sharlene Licciardello: Only to be hit by self doubt, perfectionism, and fear of failure?

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Stephen Licciardello: In today's episode, we dive into impostor syndrome, its effects, and how you can recognize it.

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Sharlene Licciardello: You will come away with the tools and resources to turn impostor syndrome into your superpower. Let's dive in. Welcome to rewrite your story, the podcast where change begins with you.

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Stephen Licciardello: We're your hosts, Steven and Sharlene.

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Sharlene Licciardello: As professional coaches and mentors trained in various modalities, we have helped hundreds of people

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Stephen Licciardello: bridge the gap between the person they are

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Sharlene Licciardello: and the person they want to be.

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Stephen Licciardello: We bring you conversations with real people who have overcome real setbacks.

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Sharlene Licciardello: You will walk away with practical steps to find more clarity, alignment, and success in any area you want to improve.

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Stephen Licciardello: So join us and discover how you have the power to overcome, to change, and to rewrite your story.

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Sharlene Licciardello: So pick up the pen. Your new chapter starts now.

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Stephen Licciardello: Well, today, Sharlene, we're gonna dive into imposter syndrome. I have definitely been doing some research because people have asked us what we have done to overcome imposter syndrome and a few tips and tricks that we have used. It's surprising

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Sharlene Licciardello: how many people actually experience it, right?

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. It's about 70% of people experiencing impostor syndrome, which is is quite surprising.

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Sharlene Licciardello: That's interesting.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. I actually see it as a positive thing, and and I wanna debunk why I see it as a positive thing, today. But maybe we can start off by you defining what your understanding of impostor syndrome.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Absolutely. So impostor syndrome is actually a psychological pattern where an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent, often internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud. So it doesn't matter how much people tell them that how successful they are or there's, like, all this evidence on the outside, evidence of their success, like, still approved, they don't seem to be able to actually internalize that. They all they're internalizing is how they're not that way.

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Stephen Licciardello: I was, listening to someone this week or someone was telling me that they were talking to someone, and they asked that person, like, this is a different career path that you're on now. Why do you keep on referring to your past when you're in you know, you're a CEO of an organisation now, but you keep on referring to your past? And this guy said, it's a imposter syndrome. So referring to past success rather than talking about the their career now in a different role. Yeah. And they were referring to a a past. And and it you're right. It's because of that fear of, like, being a fraud or being found out, and and that's really interesting. But let's have a look at some characteristics.

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Stephen Licciardello: I think the first one is self doubt. Okay? People constantly question their abilities and fearing to be found out, like you said, that that fraud mentality. And, you know, I I think, like, I have aspects of definitely had aspects of imposter syndrome, but I actually use it in a positive way where I'm doubting myself is really to start questioning and diving deeper, which we'll go in later. Another factor is attributing success to external factors. Yeah. They're believing that success is either due to their luck or to timing or external influences rather than their own drive or their own skill set. Yeah. And though I think sometimes, you know, we need to give credit where credit's due, but also we also need to take credit for ourselves when there's you know, we've done something.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, I mean, obviously, there's gonna be times where we need to be able to apply ourselves, but sometimes you're doing the belief in our own application. Right? Yeah. So the self doubt comes in. So then there's also perfectionism. Like, we're setting excessively high standards and feeling that even minor flaws or mistakes indicate a lack of competence rather than an opportunity for us to be able to learn from our mistakes. We're trying to be perfect.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. What is that saying? I've heard you say it before, and I could be totally wrong in in saying it, but something like imperfect action is better than perfect inaction. Yeah. So and that's really goes to to the thing of impostor syndrome. And I remember, you know, when, I'm talking about in the early 2000 when, you know, we first started, we had our first coach. I think it was about 2,001, 2,002 when we started working with coaches, and, we were starting to train. And I remember her saying to us, you only have to be one step ahead of the audience. Yeah.

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Stephen Licciardello: So, like, you don't have to know it all to start. Yeah. You just gotta be 1 step ahead of the audience.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Absolutely. I remember that one time before I was actually about to train a group of people and I was so nervous and I asked like, I was telling you about how nervous I was and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to do it. But you said, no. What people don't know, they don't know. As long as you are one step ahead of you're already one step ahead of them with the knowledge that you have. That's all you need.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. And that ended up being Yeah. Like, we're talking in a lot.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Oh, wow.

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Stephen Licciardello: 15 years ago at least, but that ended up being a great learning as well and has definitely driven us along the way. The other one is fear of failure. So excessive worried about failing to meet people's expectations. Not only people's expectations, our own expectations. And and as we've said before, we are our worst critics when it comes to rewriting our story or when it comes to change.

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Sharlene Licciardello: That's very common, isn't it? Yeah. And it's overworking. We're compensating for self doubt by working harder and longer than necessary to prove our worth.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yep. Yep. Discounting praise.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Oh my gosh. How many times have we heard that from people?

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. Like, you're so good. I'm like, oh, yeah. I don't know about that. But, you know, so discounting praise is very and and I think that's you know, when it comes to discounting praise, I think sometimes, yes, that is, definitely an imposter syndrome trait discounting for praise, but it could also be a lack of self love or self awareness Yeah. Or not receiving praise. And I and, you know, I don't mean receiving praise in a boastful way because, you know, if you're egotistic and arrogant and it's all about me, that's totally different. But definitely, again, praise where praise is due, you know, and and sometimes we have to stop downplaying the praise and actually take it on because that is what builds also our self esteem and our self worth when, you know, other people can acknowledge what we have achieved.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. I mean, I think it also comes down to experience as well that people have given them, I guess, in genuine praise just to either suck up or, you know, like, just to try and, get them off course. And that can often, like, stop people from trusting someone's, you know, sense of praise.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. Absolutely. So how does it actually impact us physically and psychologically? Well, it can lead to stress and anxiety and depression, which can also have also effects on our body, but is can also hinder our personal growth by preventing individuals from taking risk. Yeah. You know, if I have impostor syndrome and the fear of failure, I might not be open to the opportunities that are before me.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Or not might be blind since the opportunities that come along, weren't, or fully appreciating your success.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. And so you're never really taking risks, number 1, but then you're really you're always striving. And I know we did that whole thing about striving, the episode around toxic positivity a few, episodes ago where we talked about, you know, the overachieving, the overstriving leading to success, But this is the opposite side where the lack of striving, the lack of pursuit of goals can also lead to depression and also stress.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Absolutely. And it doesn't mean that you have to necessarily achieve straight away, but sometimes just having that goal really ignites a fire within someone.

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Stephen Licciardello: Mhmm. You know, if we look at studies, they've actually showed that imposter syndrome is actually common amongst high achievers, whether you're a student, whether you're a celebrity, whether you're an influencer. Whatever you do, it's actually really high, and about 70% of people experience it at some point in their lives. So it's not limited to any specific demographics. When I was dealing with impostor syndrome, like, many, many years ago and and as I said, I still, you know, find myself in the negative spin of imposter syndrome, but really had to look at reframing what it was for me. Having, dyslexia and also having ADHD, it shows that it is also a common trait of dyslexia and ADHD. So people that, you know because, you know, you look at, for instance, dyslexia, you know, there's that fear of being fanned out. You know? Yes.

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Stephen Licciardello: And, for instance, when I'm I don't like giving directions because for me, I was I know that I need to turn right, but out of my mouth comes left.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. So you're probably hard to trust yourself as you come

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Stephen Licciardello: You're right. So that causes a lot of anxiety. Oh my God. I'm gonna be found out and forward because one of the classic traits of dyslexia is is getting confused with your lefts and rights. Another thing is I do not take phone numbers. You know this. I don't, take phone numbers because someone will tell me a phone number, and I will write it completely the opposite. So now I'm just like, hey, this is my phone number.

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Stephen Licciardello: Text me. Send me a text and I'll record it in my phone. So, you know, again but if I was, like, anxious, I found ways to support that Yeah. So that I'm not, really experiencing the imposter syndrome or the fear of being found out. And I can talk quite openly. Yeah. I'm dyslexic, ADHD person. You know? Like Yeah.

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Stephen Licciardello: But it doesn't impact my ability to allow imposter syndrome to affect me.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. I'm wondering, so would you think the fact that you're open to share about the condition of having dyslexia helps you to sort of manage those expectation levels for yourself and happy to manage those syndromes because you know that it's already out there?

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. Absolutely. And I think, you know, if I go back to when I was training a lot more in vocational training in the space of, you know, leadership and management and and training the diploma of leadership and management and things like that. I would all I would always start my classes or when I knew have a new cohort, I would always tell them, I have dyslexia. Like, I would be upfront. I have dyslexia. When I write on the board, it's not always gonna make sense to you, and it's not always the words. I'm not gonna spell them correctly.

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Stephen Licciardello: Don't worry how I spell them. You spell them right. Because if we worry about correcting each time We're

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Sharlene Licciardello: gonna be here all day.

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Stephen Licciardello: The deployment is gonna take twice as long for you to complete. So listen to my words and my knowledge in this area rather than the way I spell. Yeah. You know? And that was definitely I opened that, most of my classes up that way. Hey. But, hey, now with AI and and PowerPoints, you know, it's it's no longer an issue. But, you know, I'm talking about I started training in the days of overhead projectors.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Oh.

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Stephen Licciardello: And so how do we actually harness it as a positive?

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. So there's so many points here. One of those is reframing impostor syndrome. So looking at it from a different angle and and a different perspective.

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Stephen Licciardello: If we really think about 70 percent of people will have some aspects of imposter syndrome. So if 70% of people have it, it's actually more prevalent than we think. Therefore, it is a norm. Yeah.

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Sharlene Licciardello: It's hidden.

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Stephen Licciardello: It's a hidden norm.

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Sharlene Licciardello: About it. Right?

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. So if we think, okay, 70% of people that are achievers, that are successful, have imposter syndrome to some form or degree, then this is quite normal and I can actually use it for my benefit to show me areas. So in impostor we need to reframe impostor syndrome. I like what you said before we started recording. Imposter syndrome can be a superpower.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. Do

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Stephen Licciardello: you wanna talk into that?

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Sharlene Licciardello: Absolutely. I've looked at so many times we look at it from a really negative conversation, but it if we're looking at it from a different angle as a way to help us thrive and to grow and using it as a, I guess, a reflection tool, then that's gonna be a superpower just to power us through so many areas where we usually feel that sense of, oh, like, that self doubt that, you know, am I good enough? Am I doing the right thing? Are people gonna find me out? We're gonna be able to use the the symptoms that we usually have from imposter syndrome as a reflection tool to make us better and to grow and thrive.

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Stephen Licciardello: And I think what you said is really important. Grow and thrive. Use it as a tool. So, again, it's about when you're going through, you know, the self doubt, the attributing success to others, the perfectionism, you know, the fear of failure, the overworking, the discounting of praise, actually realize and have a internal check that says, hang on. This is a symptom of imposter syndrome. Therefore, I'm actually can use this to ask myself some really good questions to see, am I lacking something here, or am I actually closer to a breakthrough?

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Sharlene Licciardello: I like that.

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Stephen Licciardello: You know? So it's recognizing that imposter syndrome as a sign for striving for excellence and in pursuit of your goals.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Absolutely. So it's a strength already.

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Stephen Licciardello: It is a strength because you know you're on the right track. Right? If you say, okay. Hang on. This is, you know, like, imposter syndrome. It means I'm actually on the right track that I'm actually doing something.

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Sharlene Licciardello: There's that saying that they say, you know, if you're worried about being, like, a good mother or a good father or a good whatever, that is a sign that you already are good whatever you're doing. Mhmm.

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Stephen Licciardello: Because it keeps checks on you. Right?

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. Like, you're gonna be taking care. You're gonna be being diligent. You're not gonna be just lase about things and leave things out and not and being neglectful. I mean, it's it's gonna be that moral compass for you to know that, okay, am I doing enough? Am I doing the right thing and having a good checklist for yourself? Yeah. But not just rely completely on just the inner workings, but also looking for evidence of the good things that you're doing.

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Stephen Licciardello: Absolutely. And you know what? As you said, we need to view syndrome as a motivator for continuous growth and learning.

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Sharlene Licciardello: I like that. So, you know, there's a quote that says, our doubts are traitors and make us lose a good we often might win by fearing to attempt, and that was by William Shakespeare.

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Stephen Licciardello: You know, and I love what Valerie Young said. She said, is not a sign of weakness, but a a sign of striving to grow. And I think that's that's exactly what it is. Yeah. You know, like, our debt like, know, like everyone knows Shakespeare. He goes out and doubts are traitors, you know, so we need to lose them, you know, to win. And then she and then Valerie Young saying imposter syndrome is not a sign of weakness, but a sign that you're actually in pursuit of your goals. You're striving to grow, and I think that is the key Yeah.

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Stephen Licciardello: To acknowledging that imposter syndrome is not something to fear. It is not something to worry about. It's actually a internal check mechanism that's showing you you're actually on the right path.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. Yeah. So we can either let it spur us on or we can let it hinder us.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. And how do we do that? You know, Philippians 413, I can do all things through him who gives me strength. You know, like, if we surrender our imposter syndrome to Christ and realize that our doubt and our fear is not from him. Right? And we can actually do what we're doing through him who gives us strength and using it as a check.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Absolutely. And, you know, there's a, verse that says, perfect love casts out all fear. And when we learn to have that perfect love for ourselves, doesn't cost out all the fear of, you know, being caught out or, you know, if you're doing the right thing, things like that. We just know that we're doing our best that we can, and that's all that we need.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yep. So number 1, it's reframing impostor syndrome as a positive thing. Number 2, I reckon it's leveraging impostor syndrome for growth.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Oh, this is good one. So this is basically about how acknowledging imposter feelings can drive better performance and self improvement.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. So it's the strategies to use the strategy is to use impostor syndrome as, catalyst for growth. So for instance, if I'm doubting myself in a particular area, let's just say, you know, I refer to leadership and management. You know? Before, just say I'm leading a team or I'm managing a team, and I doubt myself and my abilities, I think the first place to start is 1, am I doubting? Because we tend to generalize our abilities. Yeah. Okay? So I guess we need to first when doubt comes in, like, I'm a shit manager or I'm no good at this or, you know, I'm hopeless at leading people. Okay. I need to be able to well, we we need to be able to ask ourselves, okay.

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Stephen Licciardello: What area am I actually shit in? Okay. So what area am I actually no good in? Okay. Or what area do I need to improve? You know? For instance and and then there's these 2 ways of doing this. You know? I love what John Maxwell says is you can't grow from a 4 to a 10. You can only grow from a 4 to a 6. Yeah. But you can grow an 8 to a 10. You know? So then looking and he goes higher out.

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Stephen Licciardello: You know, he's the philosophy is improve on your strengths, hire out your weaknesses.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah.

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Stephen Licciardello: Okay. So if I know as a manager, I'm really good with project managing. I'm really good at, getting things out, creating things. I'm really good at the vision. I'm really good at driving things. Okay. I work on those strengths. But then if imposter syndrome comes in and I'm actually, hey, there's some areas I need to improve.

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Stephen Licciardello: For instance, with me, having critical conversations, okay, is probably an area that I would need to improve on. Yeah. Not only having critical conversations, but actually dealing with problems in the time. I'm the type of person that and sometimes things can fester. Do you know what I mean? If you're not dealing with them inappropriateness. You know, if I look at my management skills, that's probably the area that I lack the most, because I'm the type of person that something will happen, and I won't deal with it there and then because I feel that, 1, I probably need time to reflect on it, and 2, I probably feel that I might make the problem worse if I deal with it there rather than, you know, you know, yes. I know there's a book called The One Man Manager. It says we need to deal with things there and then.

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Stephen Licciardello: Unconsciously not dealing with it, I know is actually worse because I'm waiting for the problem to either fix itself.

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Sharlene Licciardello: And we know that never does.

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Stephen Licciardello: I know it never happens.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Just can't sweat under the carpet.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. And it just and it keeps piling up and getting worse. So by doubting my management skills, I need to get really specific and say, actually, it is my one management that I actually need to work on, and, therefore, then I bring the tools in order to support me, like the book, The 1 Minute Manager, which, by the way, I've never read. I probably should read it. I just know it's a book that's that talks about that. And so by allowing impostor syndrome to actually to leverage off it for growth, it's about getting specific in the areas. Because I I do think one of the issues with imposter syndrome is a generalizer.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. Everything is bad. Everything is bad at everything. Yeah. And they can't sort of specific, like, find one specific area that they are actually good in.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. So it's about getting really specific and bringing it down to the so as I said, it's a generalizer. It's ambiguous, and we actually need to bring the ambiguity down into the specifics.

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Sharlene Licciardello: They're really talking down.

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Stephen Licciardello: So another way that you can use impostor syndrome to leverage your growth is actually, learn how others have overcome impostor syndrome.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Okay. So modeling off other people.

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Stephen Licciardello: Modeling. Yeah.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Learning how others have actually overcome their impostor syndrome and learning the different steps that they've taken.

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Stephen Licciardello: Absolutely. And then it's it's finding some books that might help you with it or or finding a community. But if you as I said, 70%. So most entrepreneurs or most business owners or managers or even moms and dads that as you said before that are questioning their ability to parent, they probably also have aspects of it and finding that community that can support you.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. Absolutely. You know, there's, Maya Angelou says, I've written 11 books, but each time I think, uh-oh, they're going to find out now. I run a game on everybody, and they're going to find me out. So even my Angela is a great writer. Yeah. She was a great writer, and she's probably one of my idols as well. Yeah.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. The things that she writes is poetry. She herself already builds those feelings of self doubt and impostor syndrome.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. And I think, yeah, you're so right because Maya Maya Angelo is a legend in her own right. Do you know what I mean? And and if someone like Maya Angelou can say, oh my gosh, I've written 11 books and they're gonna find me out. How much more the average person, you know, can experience that? But, yeah, you know, if we look at her life, her life has been a legacy, but yet she worked through it and did the work despite of it. And I think that's key. Work despite of imposter syndrome.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. There's, there's that saying about fear. It's like you can see it in 2 ways. It says forget everything and run or face everything and rise.

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Stephen Licciardello: Well, I'm good.

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Sharlene Licciardello: That's what Maya Angelou did.

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Stephen Licciardello: Oh, good. Face everything and rise. I've heard of that. I probably have. Natalie Portman said imposter syndrome doesn't go away. You just need to learn to deal with it differently. And I think that is the key here. Learn to deal with it differently.

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Stephen Licciardello: Chunk it down. Find the areas that you need to grow. Grow in those areas. If you feel that you're gonna only rise from a 4 to a 6, then hire those areas out. There's nothing wrong with that and work on what you're good at.

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Sharlene Licciardello: That's right. In the door, one thing I love about the whole idea of hiring out your weaknesses is it buys you time to start to learn those areas where you need to improve. So you don't need to worry about it straight away. Because someone else is already doing it there, so you're gonna find yourself time just to, like, work on your strengths first and then have some time to actually work on some of those weaknesses step by step.

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Stephen Licciardello: You know, if you look at at me. Right?

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah.

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Stephen Licciardello: Can you imagine me doing our bookkeeping? Alright. It's not that funny, but I would get everything wrong. You know what I mean? Like, I would put the numbers confused. You know? Like, I'm never gonna go from a 2 2 to a 10 in that area. Yeah. So we need to hire that out. Do you know what I mean? We and and there's nothing wrong with that. We do.

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Stephen Licciardello: But then I can put the strategy in place. You know what I mean? So I think that's really good. However, I must say I am good with the profit or loss sheet. So I I understand profit or loss, but definitely not answering those numbers, you know? And I think another way that we can really embrace impostor syndrome is actually again, from the Bible, Jeremiah 2911. And I know, you know, a lot of people will quote this scripture and live by this scripture, but it says, for I know the plans I have for you, declares the lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, and to give you a future and hope. So knowing that everything we do, he actually has ordained that, and he knows that before we actually do it. Imposter syndrome or not, you know, he knows the plans he has for us.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Isn't it just amazing, like, he just rests in his promises that we don't have to worry about, like, what is going on in us all the time because as long as we're resting in those promises, we can take security in that, And we don't have to worry about the whole imposter syndrome people finding us out because god knows us in and out. He knows everything about us.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. And I think step number 3 is embrace and utilise impostor syndrome.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Jack, how do we do that?

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Stephen Licciardello: Well, I think it's first developing a growth mindset to turn self doubt into your superpower. Okay? When we doubt ourself, we need to see that as, hey. This is an opportunity to learn. Okay? And I know that's been the theory of this whole podcast today, but it's really looking at self doubt as a superpower, looking at imposter syndrome as a superpower, and looking at it as an internal unconscious check that is keeping us online or on the path to our goals.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah.

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Stephen Licciardello: Okay? Then it's building that network and seeking mentorship to combat feelings of inadequacy. Okay? So for instance, Sharlene, if someone comes to you for mentorship or counselling and saying, like, I have a really bad imposter syndrome. As a counselor, what are some of the things that you would speak to this person or say to this person or tools that you would give them?

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, one of the things is we've already covered, but just really chunking down on specific areas that they feel that they have those symptoms in. But what what do they feel that they are lying about? What areas do they feel that they're not being congruent in? And saying, what are like, just listing those down and saying, what are the evidence that points in that direction, and what's the evidence that points against that. So having visuals, like, seeing helping them to see the differences between the evidence of, you know, that points away from them being impostors and the evidence that they feel is causing them to feel that they're self doubting and makes it feel like they're lying to people. So looking at evidence both ways. They're helping to have a clearer picture.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. So looking at, like, the pros and cons of both areas and seeing, okay. Well, what are areas that you're actually really good at, and what are the transferable skills in that area? Yeah. Because in a lot of things we do, there are transferable skills.

[00:26:55]

Sharlene Licciardello: People forget that, you know, especially when I hear people wanting to apply for certain jobs, and they feel like, oh, I don't have those skills. But then ask, well, so what do you actually do? Like, if I find out they're a mother or someone else, what skills do you have? What do you need to be a mother? You need to have organizational skills. You need to be able to time keep. It needs to be a referee. All those different skills that you've learned, and I get them to tell me, like, what do you need? Like, what do you what makes you a good mother? And then I say, so how can you apply those skills here? You need to have organizational skills. You need to have this, this, and this. Can we see how they correlate?

[00:27:30]

Stephen Licciardello: I like that. So it's really diving deep into skills you already have and looking, okay. Well, what are those skills in this area that you don't have that the imposter syndrome is getting you, and how can you reframe that as a learning? You know? So that's a really good practical tool. How would you like, I know you're an advocate journaler, and you and you do practice journaling a lot. How would you use journaling when it comes to impostor syndrome?

[00:27:58]

Sharlene Licciardello: Absolutely. Well, I mean, there's so many ways of, like, different kinds of journaling. One of those is, the brain dump at night when there's just so much stuff in their head that they just can't get to sleep, just writing it all out so they can have a space, a clear space in their head just to be able to relax because it's already there. But the other one is just putting down, like, each day at least 2 to 3 things that they know that they appreciate about themselves, that maybe someone else has told them about themselves quite frequently, positive things so that they can write those down and say what are the things that I've done today that will match up to that.

[00:28:36]

Stephen Licciardello: So like a gratitude journal. Yeah.

[00:28:37]

Sharlene Licciardello: The gratitude and then a self appreciation journal.

[00:28:40]

Stephen Licciardello: Self appreciation journal. I like that. And because we a lot of people don't actually, you know, we talk about gratitude like, gratitude journals is is, you know, out there and people will talk about it all the time, but we never really have a self appreciation journal. What does that do for an individual?

[00:28:57]

Sharlene Licciardello: Well, one that helps to bring back the fact that, you know, it brings into light their strengths already, The things that they have done, they might not believe in themselves, but things that they've heard from people constantly telling them, this is evidence. This is a evidence file that these are things that are true about them, whether they believe it or not. So when they learn how to internalize it, they can appreciate what is already there, the strengths that they already have

[00:29:26]

Stephen Licciardello: I like that.

[00:29:26]

Sharlene Licciardello: Based on strengths.

[00:29:28]

Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. I like that. So we can actually have strategies implemented to embrace imposter syndrome. So you're saying, 1, take quote of what you're good at. Take good at quote of your skills and see what skills can be transferred. 2, brain dump at night Mhmm. So that all that negative self talk is out of your mind. Yeah.

[00:29:50]

Stephen Licciardello: And then have a self appreciation journal.

[00:29:53]

Sharlene Licciardello: Absolutely.

[00:29:54]

Stephen Licciardello: I love that. So they're they're they're they're just 3 practical, tools to work on yourself. And then my suggestion would actually be develop a personal growth plan based on what you believe the incostor syndrome is about. Do you know what I mean? So if you look at, for instance, it's in this area or that area, then develop a plan that says in the next 90 days, I'm going to, you know, listen to so many podcasts or so many YouTubes around that subject to build up my skill set, to build up my knowledge. I might see a professional like a a a coach or a mentor or a counselor to work on this area as part of my personal growth. I might then seek my peers out and say, hey. In what area do you feel that I'm actually good in this? You know? So it's developing that personal growth plan can really then keep you on track, but then also question your doubt. Question your fear.

[00:30:58]

Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. And on that note, Steven, I was just as you're talking there, I was like, wanted to really hone in on the fact that sometimes we can get so caught up with our negative self talk. Like, oh, who do you think you are? I don't have these skills or whatever it is. Right? Right? And instead of challenging that, we just embrace it and we internalize it. So for me, if I see for us to be able to challenge that would be just agreeing with it to some degree. Yes. I don't have those skills yet. That would yet changes it from a concrete thing to a gross plan.

[00:31:33]

Stephen Licciardello: I like that.

[00:31:34]

Sharlene Licciardello: It tape makes it more transient so that you're not stuck in that. You're not stuck in the fact that, yeah, he might not have certain skills, you know, and that, like and they get to hold. We're gonna hold on to that, you know. Like, you're trying to be, like, internally defensive instead of just challenging it and speaking against it. You're just agreeing, but you're also adding that word yet. And you say, yeah. I don't have those skills yet, but I'm every day, I'm growing. Every day, I'm learning, and I'm doing my best to achieve.

[00:32:07]

Stephen Licciardello: Wow.

[00:32:07]

Sharlene Licciardello: I'm doing my best to learn so that I can become better and better each day.

[00:32:11]

Stephen Licciardello: I think, Sharlene, for that one sentence sums up the whole, you know, the whole podcast, you know, like that. That's actually yeah. I that's really good. Like, I'm not there yet. You're so right, and it's not concrete. It's actually transient. I love that because if I'm not there yet, it's not the fine it's not final.

[00:32:33]

Sharlene Licciardello: That's right.

[00:32:33]

Stephen Licciardello: And so you're giving yourself permission not to be labeled by that, but just to see that as it's a stop in the journey, and you're getting back on the road.

[00:32:44]

Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah.

[00:32:44]

Stephen Licciardello: Oh, that is powerful.

[00:32:45]

Sharlene Licciardello: Just part of the journey.

[00:32:47]

Stephen Licciardello: Part of the journey. So I'm not there yet, or I'm I'm not good at having critical conversations yet. However, I am learning to the skills to do that. Yeah. Yeah. That is really good. Winston Churchill said success is not final. Failure is not fatal.

[00:33:04]

Stephen Licciardello: It is the courage to continue that counts.

[00:33:07]

Sharlene Licciardello: That's right.

[00:33:08]

Stephen Licciardello: And I think that's so powerful.

[00:33:09]

Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. And Charles Kinley also said the only way to achieve the impossible is to believe it is possible.

[00:33:16]

Stephen Licciardello: I'm not there yet. Not there yet. I love that. So and in 2nd Chronicles 157, it says, but as for you, be strong and do not give up for your work will be rewarded. And Steven's adding something because you're not there yet. But it doesn't mean that your work won't be rewarded. So, Sharlene, that pretty much sums up imposter syndrome, and we actually do embrace impostor syndrome as a tool for growth. And I think if people were to embrace impostor syndrome and actually see it as not a negative, not the final destination, not a full stop.

[00:33:54]

Sharlene Licciardello: That's right. It can allow sentence.

[00:33:56]

Stephen Licciardello: Not a sentence. It can allow for so much opportunity to grow.

[00:34:00]

Sharlene Licciardello: Oh, I love it. Thank you for joining us on the Rewrite Your Story podcast.

[00:34:05]

Stephen Licciardello: We hope you found this episode enlightening.

[00:34:07]

Sharlene Licciardello: For more information on the topics discussed, please visit our website at stevenandSharlene.com.

[00:34:12]

Stephen Licciardello: Don't forget to subscribe to our podcast on your favorite platform. Platform. Share with your friends and follow us on social media at stevenand Sharlene.

[00:34:19]

Sharlene Licciardello: Until next time, stay informed and inspired.

[00:34:22]

Stephen Licciardello: This is Steven and Sharlene signing off from the rewrite your story podcast. Thank you, and stay blessed.