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Stephen Licciardello: Welcome to Rewrite Your Story, the podcast where change begins you.

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Stephen Licciardello: We're your hosts, Stephen and Charlene.

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Sharlene Licciardello: As professional coaches and mentors trained in various modalities, we have helped and of people.

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Stephen Licciardello: Bridge the gap between the person they are.

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Sharlene Licciardello: And the person they want to be.

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Stephen Licciardello: We bring you conversations with real people who have overcome real setbacks.

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Sharlene Licciardello: You will walk away with practical steps to find more clarity, alignment, and success in any area you want to improve.

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Stephen Licciardello: So join us and discover how you have the power to overcome, to change, and to rewrite your story.

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Sharlene Licciardello: So pick up the pen. Your new chapter starts now.

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Stephen Licciardello: So, Larry and Dawn, you've got quite a unique story, and we're focusing on dating later in life. So tell us, what was the catalyst that made you start looking for a partner or dating later in life?

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Dawne Jacoby : You wanna go first?

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Larry Ambrose: Okay. So I have I guess I'll go back to, a little bit of my story. Right? The history side. I don't know that anybody looks to date later in life. I think circumstances happened to you during the course of your life. In my particular case, my wife passed away back in and. And, you know, it took a period of time, obviously, to work through that and to grieve, but, you know, one of the things I always knew was that I loved being married. Like, I loved being in a relationship, in a loving relationship and so forth, and I really wanted that again in my life.

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Larry Ambrose: So, you know, I eventually, I got to a point where I started to, okay, I'm gonna have to try this dating thing. And, you know, I tried when you're in your forties at that point, and I'm in my fifties, but when I'm when you're in your forties, what do you do? Right? So I, you know, I started those online dating sites and stuff like the, and, you know, went on some dates here and there. So that was and of the catalyst to to what got me to actually later in life to, to go back and try the dating scene.

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Dawne Jacoby : And tell her so he has to add to this, the part where you were, like, you know, how you create the profile for the dating. Larry was, like, do I say that I have 8 children? Do I not say that I have 8 children? Well, it scared them away. What do I do? So

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Larry Ambrose: So I so that was always so then you get the you get to the date. So it's like, well, how do I describe my situation? So I I do have 8 kids. Right? And, you know, it'd be like father of 8 seeking, and it'd be like, they would head for the hills. I was like, I can't do that. It'd be like, nice guy seeking, but then that always led to the first conversation and that really awkward pause with, well, so I didn't kiss you. Yeah. So I have e. And then and then there would be that awkward silence.

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Larry Ambrose: I'm like, well, that's not really a fair way to

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Larry Ambrose : do it.

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Larry Ambrose : So I had to kinda settle and somewhere in between. Phil and Mel was a dad, but maybe not quite 8. So, yeah.

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Dawne Jacoby : Just up front.

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Larry Ambrose: Yeah. Exactly.

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Dawne Jacoby : My situation's a little different. I was married 18 years, have 2 beautiful daughters from that marriage. I was raised by, a mother who didn't want me and, was very abusive, so I experienced abuse in my whole childhood and really knew nothing else. So that that equaled love to me. So, I had to leave home at 16 and a half years old just to escape that and raise myself. So I became a young mom. I did always wanna be a mom. Got married, you know, and then I ended up dating somebody who was even more toxic and abusive, which, again, I wasn't aware of the.

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Dawne Jacoby : I just thought it was love. But once I got out of that, I stayed single for 5 years, 5 and a half years. And I think maybe went on 5 dates in that 5 and a half years, because I was really not wanting to date ever again. And the but having said that, I always believed in love, so it was kind of a conflict. I am a romantic, but I had a problem trusting after my whole life basically being a lie and full of abuse. And with all the work that I had done on myself, now I had a strong foundation for who I am, and I was never going to let anyone hurt me again. But you never can't go through life, you know, having that wall up. So, so I opened my heart and I kind of always joked and said, you know, my person is gonna show up like a Hallmark movie.

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Dawne Jacoby : I don't know if you have those in Australia, but, you know, very romantic and Larry did not show up like that. But, we were introduced by a mutual friend and that was nice because I never wanted to do those dating sites and I always wanted to to meet someone organically. So that's exactly how it and. And she did tell me he had 8 children right from the start before I even spoke to Larry. So, luckily, I love children, and I wasn't scared. So

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Sharlene Licciardello: The really beautiful.

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Stephen Licciardello: Just going back to, to Larry and and the 8 children. You know, you you mentioned that your wife had passed away, and and, obviously, that that we can go later on into how that affected you and the children. But what was their response when you said I'm wanting to date again?

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Larry Ambrose: You know, so they were at they were all different ages. So my, youngest son was 2 months old after my wife passed away. Right? Around 2 months old when she passed away. So I had anywhere from 2 months old to 15. So it took a few years before I started to, you know, think about dating. And and I I would say the first few times, I didn't even say anything. Right? Because I wasn't even sure what this was all about and how I was gonna accept it or like it and so forth. But, you know, eventually, I just I just was upfront with the and I kinda just, I explained it to you guys, right? Like, I had a great relationship, I really, I really wanted, I really loved being married and in love, and I just said to them like, look, at some point your dad is going to date again and hopefully fall in love and hopefully get married and and, you know, you guys will have a wonderful, you know, wonderful female role model in your life because, you know, that's the type of person I'm gonna marry.

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Larry Ambrose: So I just tried to and of paint it to them as it's it was gonna be additive for our family

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Larry Ambrose : and, you know, not make it threatening to them and

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Larry Ambrose: and so forth. And again, imagine, it's a span of, you know, 15 years, right, age difference. So the took it different ways. But the older ones were always very supportive.

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Larry Ambrose : They were like, dad, listen. We want you

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Larry Ambrose: to be happy, you know, we we want you to go date and fall in love again, get married again.

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Larry Ambrose : So they were always supportive. And, you

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Larry Ambrose: know, the younger ones, it would it would be more conversation just

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Larry Ambrose : to make sure they kinda understood what was going on. And,

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Larry Ambrose: you know, it didn't mean that their mother you know, I wouldn't have stole a place in my heart for their mom because I always would.

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Larry Ambrose : But I just knew,

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Larry Ambrose: right, the power of love and the power of your heart and and so forth, that there was room to do both. And, you know, I just had to kinda help them feel comfortable with that. So and.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. That's beautiful.

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. I really like that. Reassuring them that, hey. Mom's still alive in my heart.

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Larry Ambrose: Yeah. Right.

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Stephen Licciardello: But there's also space for someone else. I think that's really

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Sharlene Licciardello: Such a gracious way of Yeah. Handling that.

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Stephen Licciardello: No. That's beautiful. Larry, obviously, like, having a 2 month when your wife passes away and having 8 children, that must have been a big shock or I I'm not sure of the circumstances are a big change in in your world. And, definitely, for someone else that's looking to to date later in life and has been a widow or a widow, yeah, a widow, widower, how did you navigate those 15 years to come to the point where because both of you have very different backgrounds, and each one would have quite a, like, some trauma attached to it. You know? So I I like to look at both of both perspectives because both the journey would have been different in rewriting your story, but also looking to the point of how then did you rewrite it as a dating couple? So, Larry, if we can go to you first.

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Larry Ambrose: I would I would say so the journey from, you know, when she passed away, her name was Chris, when she when Chris passed away to that point was, you know, it was it was a long journey. Right? And it was it was complicated. Right? The the few years, like, we were, you know, just trying to get our feet back on the ground, stay balanced, you know, find our footing. And I always like to say, you know, we survive, you know, one day, one hour, sometimes the minute at a time because that's all we could look ahead. We had a tremendous support system between our family, our friends, the, you know, our community, the parish, the schools, you know, the church and so forth. And they helped sustain us through those early times and and got us back on our feet. And, you know, then you live your new normal, and you figure it out. And but the challenge for me is as time went on, I jumped back into my career with with I was with GE at the time, and I was an executive.

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Larry Ambrose: And for the 1st few years, I was able to handle that, and then I kinda got into the back into traveling a lot, and there was a lot of pressure and stress. And and ultimately it led to a crash. And this was about 6 years later and, you know, it it led me through a process to heal. And so during those, I took 4 months off. I was actually gonna take, you know, 3 or 4 months' leave of absence. Went through a process to heal. I grieved for really the first time. I think I resolved some things in my life from my early childhood that I never had.

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Larry Ambrose: Kind of phased into everything. And on the other side of that process, right, this is we talk about kind of transforming your pain into your purpose, On the other side of that, I found just joy. Like, I found my purpose in life, and I made the decision at that point that I wasn't gonna go back to work. I was actually gonna stay home and raise my kids. And so that's what I did, and I showed up on our first date. Healed. Right? And Dawn will talk about her her signing the process too. But if I if I didn't if I hadn't showed up field or had not gone through that process, you know, I don't know that it would have came about the same way.

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Larry Ambrose: I don't know that we would have connected or fell in love the same way because I still would have been working through things, still trying to resolve things in my life. And so I think that, really, the answer to the law the long winded answer to the person, to the are out there who's thinking about this and, you know, you really have to heal. Like, you you can't avoid it. You really haven't been going through the pain to get to the other side, but what's on the other side really is joy, and and life opens back up to you, and relationships and connection and love and all the is is possible once again.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. Wow. It sounds like you had a real commitment to actually that self healing to start off with before you actually ventured into the dating process, which is so important, isn't it?

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Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. I think that's that's really insightful because you do see a lot of people, and and and I'm just looking at at an outside of what I've observed. You know, some people go from relationship to relationship repeating the same cycles. And, you know, I think, Larry, when you're saying I had dated before, but I hadn't crashed, and then you crashed and and and then started dating again, but you dated healed. I guess what I'm trying to say is, do you believe that it wouldn't be fair to the other person that you were dating had you not healed completely and gone into a fully committed relationship at that time?

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Larry Ambrose: Yeah. I think so. Because I think I know from my perspective, like, I if your heart is not resolved, if there's still a lot of pain, if there's still a lot of grief, and not and I think grief can be lifelong. It doesn't mean that you're completely healed and you're never gonna be triggered again are you're never gonna have those moments of sadness and so forth because they're gonna happen throughout life. Right? But but if I if I had not and healed my are to the point where, a, I could open I could take that place in my heart that was, you know, reserved for Chris and kinda keep it tucked, you know, tucked away. But then the rest of my heart opened up, you know, to Dawn and, you know, and, again, allow myself to to not only love her, but then to be loved back by her, right, I think then we would not have been able to connect in the way we did. And I think it would have been, you know, maybe me struggling with things in my head trying to reconcile stuff and her trying to figure out, well, what's he thinking about and all the, but I I feel like I when I met her like I said, I like to say 2 are 2 hearts of joy met that night. Right? And, you know, we're able to connect and and just start the relationship.

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Dawne Jacoby : Yeah. And I would add in too, that was actually one of my top ferns knowing that his wife was this amazing woman. You know, wasn't like a divorce. It wasn't a horrible situation such as mine. There was no animosity. Like, I was walking into an angel's Stephen, And the pressure that I felt before I even got in, like, I didn't know that it was gonna turn into a relationship. But right away, because we were introduced by a mutual friend who knew his wife, I was like, well, okay, like, is there a pressure? Like, I'm not her. So do I have to be like her? Do I have to do everything? And I remember in the beginning, there were some things that my girlfriend had told me, like, well, she does this and she did that and she did the.

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Dawne Jacoby : And I I was like, okay, but that's not me. So immediately, I was, like, on are. Like, I can't be her. And then I thought, no. Why why am I doing this? I am just gonna show up as me. I know who I am and but my concern was, is he healed? Is he ready to love again? Because I don't know if I ever would have been. Right? You go through that pain. Again, it wasn't a bad relationship.

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Dawne Jacoby : It was of love. So I'm like, I don't even know if I could have done that. But then having said all the, if I wasn't healed, which I went through my own journey of healing, I wouldn't have trusted his words and I wouldn't have been able to believe what he said or how he acted around me because I would have had the the voices in my head that were programmed from my previous relationships of, you know, you're not good enough. You're not the one. You're, you know, all these narratives playing in my head, which then would have not allowed me to actually be in a real trusting relationship. So I had to be healed the. And like he said, you know, we came together to that date as 2 whole people that healed and did tremendous work through tremendous trauma, and had to regain who we were individually and then allow ourselves to love again. I never thought that I would, but I did believe that if I did, it was gonna be heaven sent and that the person was gonna Sharlene show up from God.

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Dawne Jacoby : It wasn't gonna be me hunting for him. So

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Larry Ambrose: Well, I like to say too, we we progressed 10 dates on our first date. We we literally did. You wanna talk about our first date? So we, you know, we would say we spent a little bit of time on the the week leading up to the date on the phone after we got introduced, And then we had our first date. It was lunch at a in a little restaurant in the town near us. You know? So I'm, like, nervous like a little kid. She shows it she shows up, and, like, my eyes are, like, wow. You know, like, immediately. And I and she had actually the same reaction.

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Dawne Jacoby : Yeah.

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Larry Ambrose: And we spent a couple hours just over lunch talking, very casual, very open, very comfortable. And so then we decided to go around the corner and just get dessert and coffee and stuff and and just continue the discussion. And we probably sat there for another 3 hours. But the conversation shifted into our our our journeys, right, our journeys to overcome and to the trauma that we went through and the healing process that we went through. And what we found, fairly re remarkably, is that the process we went through to heal was very, very similar, very and, and how faith played a big role in both of our journeys to get there. And I remember leaving that night, it's now nighttime. Right? I think I showed up at the restaurant 11:30 in the morning, and now it's nighttime when I leave and just on a way different plane. It wasn't so much are we're gonna go out again.

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Larry Ambrose: It's like, wow. What is this relationship could have evolved to? There's so much possibility here because we connected on so many levels, and we've just found that, you know, not only with the circumstances are the we came through, but our missions in life align so much. And that would come into play a year and a half later, but the foundation was literally set on the the date.

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Dawne Jacoby : And I would say at this age, so dating in your forties, fifties, or second marriage are whatever, or not marriage, but relationship after marriage. You know when, like, the 5 dates that I said I went on in 5 years, I knew in 5 minutes that it was a no. And I was done with the date in 5 minutes, but I knew intuitively with Larry when I walked in, as he said, there was this moment. And I remember saying, I swear to god on this. I heard the words, this is your person that you've been waiting for. And I'm like, oh my god. So then, like, I had not dated really, like, meaningful date. I I hadn't I didn't even know if I'd remember how to kiss.

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Dawne Jacoby : Like, that's how and it felt for me. And then I was, like, nervous. And then when I'm nervous, I can't eat. And then he wants to go get ice cream on top of lunch, and I'm, like, I'm gonna throw up. I'm so there's a lot of nerves that go into that kind of dating, you know, when you're in your middle ages and, you know, it's just it's different.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. And it's so refreshing to hear that you covering the, like, those nerves and, you know, not ignoring those, that fact that, you know, there's always gonna be the initial nerves, especially all, like, the lead up to it. And even though it's like that that voice that you heard and you're following your intuition, there's still gonna be the nerves, isn't there? Like, you know, you're like something completely foreign to you. And what I'd like to know

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Dawne Jacoby : I'm saying, like, I don't know. As a woman, and maybe I'm old fashioned, but the man is are, so they think if you go out on the first date, that they can just immediately give you a kiss. Again, maybe I'm old fashioned, but, you know, they go from lunch to a kiss to are. You know, sometimes take me home or whatever. And I had this conviction that I was not going to kiss anyone on my first date. Like, I don't even know this person, so I needed to be okay with it. I needed to give permission to that person. Right? And I was never gonna be taken advantage of again, you know, that was and of my head.

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Dawne Jacoby : And so I was, like, praying at the end of this date, like, please don't try to kiss me. Please don't try it because that would just ruin the whole date. And he did not, which was great. And then the and date, he knew just, like, I wasn't ready and so again, maybe it's me, But I knew after that that I needed to get perm permission. I'm like, okay. Stephen I literally told him in so many words, like, the next time I see you, give me a goodbye are hello, Giz, or whatever. But yeah. Like, it was so nice because I felt respected and that it was built on he knew what I came through because we had shared with each other and he said something.

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Dawne Jacoby : He said to me, I want to restore your faith in humanity. So when he wanted to kiss me and he, I guess, instinctually knew knew that I didn't want you back, that's what he said. And so that, to me, was the ultimate respect and level of kindness.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. And it's so important, Isla. Like, it's I'm so happy for your guts.

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Dawne Jacoby : Thank you.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Sorry?

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Larry Ambrose: I was gonna say, we'll add between the and day and the third day, which is I gave her a kiss on the third day. I got COVID. So so we were shut down for 10, 12 days. And so but but what it did was every night, we got on FaceTime, right, with our phones and talked for hours, like hours. And so we bonded so much over the 10 days of COVID that by the time I met her, I or saw her again for our 3rd date, I felt like I had known her for years. Right? Because we had covered everything on the conversation the opened up and, you know, about our our kids and our lives and all that. And so there was such a comfort level there that, you know, you think COVID's such a negative thing, but it turned out to actually be a blessing. And it established our communication.

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Dawne Jacoby : I was gonna say communication

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Larry Ambrose: and key. All the time, whether it's text or phone call or video. We don't live far apart, but, you know, because of our lifestyles. And even though we work together, we see each other more now. We still see each other as as often we would like. So it's text at night before we go to bed, or in the morning we wake up, or video calls. So but it did establish our communication very early.

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Dawne Jacoby : Yeah. And we have the same love language. So I'm sure you guys are aware of that with the work that you do. But, you know, that helps to establish what is that person's love language, and I'd say it's both the same for us. You know, touch, feel, communication, you know, just being together. It's not the frivolous, you know, gifts and stuff like the, so that helped.

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Sharlene Licciardello: Yeah. Yeah. But, like, Dawn, you're alluding earlier to your process of healing before being married. Can you tell us a little bit about what started you on that journey? What got you just starting that healing inner healing?

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Dawne Jacoby : Yeah. For sure. So as I mentioned, you know, I'd basically lived the life of abuse, starting with my mother parents, and then it continued into my relationships throughout my younger years, adulthood. And when I hit bought and crashed and and hit bottom with that, at the age of 46, I went to therapy and said to my therapist, clearly, I'm the problem because I was the common denominator in those relationships, and those people all told me I was the problem. So, again, this is all abuse. You know, I didn't know any better, but so my therapist obviously said, you know, after hearing my stories, said, no, honey. You're the victim. And then she's the one who explained that I didn't know any better.

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Dawne Jacoby : I thought it was love. That's actually gonna be the title of my book. I thought it was love. But you repeat you gravitate towards familiar and comfortable. And so that's what I did. I would then, you know, be attracted to men that were very similar to my parents. So when I crashed, I then threw myself in a therapy. Therapy got me to a certain point, but then I felt like I was stuck and I wasn't advancing.

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Dawne Jacoby : I was just showing up crying, telling a story, and that was it. So then I brought a life coaching, which was wonderful because then you're you're advancing, you're setting small, achievable goals, you're building and reframing and recreating, and I fell in love with that. And then my faith is huge because at one point, it wasn't. And then I went back to church and that pastor there was the one who was extremely a big part of my feeling and keeping me grounded in my faith, and that was in and. And that whole thing was completely that was very cathartic for me to be able to write and and then to speak and help young women. I would, every once in a while, go speak at this local domestic Stephen. And it helped me heal, but it also helped others. So that was really my process.

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Dawne Jacoby : And I worked out, like, that was my advice. I love the gym. I did some crazy Spartan race, and I did the things that I had no business doing, but that was how I released, you know, what was inside. So

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Stephen Licciardello: It sounds like a very holistic approach where you it was mind, body, and spirit, and and and that's so important when it comes to healing the we're looking at all aspects of our our human life. A few things that I wanna touch upon. I can't remember which one of you said it. You said 2 hearts of joy met that night. Oh, Larry. Said that. Larry. Larry said that.

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Stephen Licciardello: Okay. Tell us about that, Larry, because that's that's a really poet like poetic. You know, 2 hearts of joy met that life. Speak into what you mean by that.

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Larry Ambrose: So I it just to me represents the fact that we had both, as we've just talked about, both gone through a healing process. And, you know, when I was going through the healing process, I actually became very fixated on the term joy. And I'm writing a book as well, and and I'm playing with the cover, and I and my title, I believe, is gonna be In Search of Joy. Right? And because that was, as I was going through it, I I I just want you know, it's in the Bible. It talks about joy. And joy to me is more of a presence. It's not an emotion. It's not fleeting.

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Larry Ambrose: It's not the highs of happiness and the lows of sadness. It's it's sustainable. It it's, you know, it's within your you know, it's within your to me, anyway, my faith. It's the holy spirit inside of me. Right? It brings me joy. And I just wanted to get to that point because life had been so hard and so challenging. And when I crashed, you know, like I said, I took a leave of absence. You know, I was a wreck physically, emotionally, mentally at that point, and I needed to heal.

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Larry Ambrose: And and through that healing process, I needed to grieve and I needed to resolve some things. And but when I got to the other side, there was joy. And and I was able to then sit down, write my mission statement of the rest of my life, write reprioritize what was gonna be most important. There was 5 elements to it. And of which was I wanted to fall in love again. I really wanted to be married again. And so I had hit a point of joy. And and Dawn, you know, the I met her and her story, and it's just something you feel from the other person, right? You can't fake joy.

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Larry Ambrose: And so when we sat down that day across from each other and had that conversation and opened up, you know, you just know innately, right, that you're on that level with the person, and and she's not making up what she's talking about. She's not making up her feelings and neither am I. And so I just felt like we both came to that luncheon that day ready to form up. If if God willing, we were the right person for each the, we believe we are, and he put us together, the, to me, it was 2 hearts of joy coming together that day that met and were ready to explode again. Because, you know, for years the had it. And it was, the know, that's the that's the destruction.

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Stephen Licciardello: Of course. Yeah. Awesome. And, Dawn, you mentioned that you knew it was a real trusting relationship. Yeah. How did you know the? Had because you haven't experienced that before.

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Dawne Jacoby : That's a good question and a good point and something I touch on. I never knew what love was. I never knew it. The only love I knew that was real and trusting hosts trusting was mine with my children, my children with me, and I have a lot of great friends, and I have a lot of great male friends. So when I went into therapy and started my journey of healing, I remember saying to my therapist, I'll never trust a man again ever because I was hurt in the hands of a few. And although, you know, my mother was the worst of it, so so I really should have been saying, you know, I'll never trust a woman again. But she said to me, I don't believe it's the man that you won't trust. I believe it's that you don't trust yourself and your judgment and your choices.

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Dawne Jacoby : And that really like, that broke me in a good way. That brought me to tears because she was right. Here I am navigating my life thinking I've made all great choices, and it felt like I made all wrong choices. So I really had to learn how to love myself, trust myself, and all of those I I speak about all the the, the instinct that we humans feel, whether it's in our lungs, our chest, our stomach, our body, everywhere. It happens. It's real, and we need to listen to it. And I felt those instinctual knowings of danger, fear, bad, get out, run, all those things. But I tucked my feelings away, and I made excuses for the, and I I thought that they were butterflies in my stomach because I loved the person so much.

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Dawne Jacoby : And that was just the programming that I was given, you know, that what I'm thinking and feeling isn't real. It's the opposite. So I had to undo a lot, and I I then had to love myself. And then once I loved myself, I knew the love that I would accept and how it would feel because I knew what I gave up, you know. Excuse me. But I also knew that I would instinctually know by trusting myself that when I met the right person, I would feel it and I would hear it. And it's exactly what happened when I walked in that restaurant. I swear on the people, when I heard this is your person that you've been waiting for, and I then was like, oh my god.

[00:29:48]

Dawne Jacoby : Like, I wanted to and. I did. I didn't know how to handle that because now this is I'm gonna enter the for the first time, a loving real relationship, and I don't know what to do with it other than just be me. So and then in my head, I'm like, well, is me good enough? Is that enough, you know, to show up as just me? So really, it was like dating for the first time for me in a real relationship.

[00:30:13]

Sharlene Licciardello: And I appreciate the. That could be pretty scary for you, which is why you would run away. And the fact that you're stuck with it, which is absolutely beautiful too.

[00:30:22]

Stephen Licciardello: Okay. Let's move forward. You've done the the. You're you're and you've said, okay. This is it. We're we're meant for each other. You're 2 people in your forties. Your habits are already established.

[00:30:32]

Stephen Licciardello: You're in little idiosyncrasies. I've seen a lot of older couples come together, and they're like, I love him, but that just irritates me, and I don't

[00:30:41]

Larry Ambrose: get it. And

[00:30:42]

Sharlene Licciardello: Oh, we So how did

[00:30:44]

Stephen Licciardello: how did you navigate, like, you know, Laurie, you would have had some family traditions that Dawn's like, what is that? Alright. How how did you go through that, later in life coming together?

[00:30:57]

Dawne Jacoby : So there are lots of traditions, and I love the children and Larry, and I love that they have traditions, and I wanna celebrate them. But there are some that I'm just never gonna do or never like, and I'm we gotta learn how to come to the middle with that. And that's okay. Those are the things that will work out. It's not a big deal. But the one story that we have that I think you were laughing at is, I would say, it's it's more who he is or was. When I met him, he was used to running a ship. Right? You've got 8 children and it's like, we all wake up, we all look, he's got 5 boys and 3 girls, but the 3 girls were pretty much raised as boys.

[00:31:40]

Dawne Jacoby : There's no glam. There's no time to be a girl. You're just getting up, throwing a ponytail and your hair, you're brushing your teeth, and you're going out the door. So five minutes to get ready. So we went away on a soccer soccer, basketball, tournament weekend and we were newly dating. I mean, how many months? So I'm like, okay. Yeah. I'll go the the basketball tournament.

[00:32:03]

Dawne Jacoby : Well, my kids never play basketball, so I don't really know what I'm getting into. All I know is it's like a are, cold, dreary arena that you're sitting in all day instead of, like, being outside or whatever. But anyway, I'm going. So we go and we get there and, you know, we wake up in the morning and Larry wakes me up and he's like, okay, you gotta wake up. You've got 5 minutes. We have to be downstairs for breakfast. And I'm like, what? Who does that? Like, who wakes somebody up and says, you know, you've got 5 minutes? So then, you know, okay, fine. I literally throw my hair on.

[00:32:38]

Dawne Jacoby : Well, his daughter was with us and she rolls right out of bed. She's used to it. Throws her hair up, brush her teeth. She's ready. The, I'm, like, struggling. I'm struggling. I I've got all these parents that I'm gonna be meeting, you know, and I'm trying to look human, not like I just rolled out of bed. And so we get downstairs, and I learned that we're like an hour early for breakfast.

[00:33:01]

Dawne Jacoby : And then we're, like, an hour early for the event even. So I'm, like, where are all the other mamas? Like, why am I down here alone? And he's, like, oh, they'll be down or whatever. So then we go to the event, the tournament, and we're an hour early, so Larry needs to just get seats. But you know what? There's nobody the, so there are plenty of seats. Like, there is no need to be there an hour early. So I and so annoyed at this point because I am not an early person. I am always late, so that's bad on my are, but I'm definitely never an hour early. And so we get to the Sharlene.

[00:33:35]

Dawne Jacoby : I look like shit. No one else is there and we're sitting there and I'm like, what the heck? So this then the mom are piling in and coming in, and his one friend, you know, the wife comes over and sits with us, and luckily, I had met her before. And she's in full glam, you know. Hair's done, makeup looks amazing, and she's there, like, 10 minutes early, which is normal. And, you know, I'm like, why does she get groom time? And I'm, like, rushed out of bed. So needless to say, when we got home, on the ride home, it was chipper, I should say. Yeah. I mean, we kept the smile on our face and I was just so annoyed.

[00:34:14]

Dawne Jacoby : I didn't know how to handle it. It's newly dating. His daughter's in the back seat. I'm not about to say anything out loud, you know, but when he when she we got home, she went inside and I said to Larry, I said, you know what? I am not your 9th duckling. I am not the 9th child. That's gonna be literally ripped out of bed and expected to throw a ponytail in my hair, brush my teeth, and then go and be like this, you know, we're running a ship, like, I'm not doing this ever again. So I was laying down a law at that point. So that's for a good thing.

[00:34:50]

Dawne Jacoby : That was a big deal in the beginning for me. And he was used to running a shit, and I don't operate that way. I and 10 years removed from my kids needing me that way. Like, they're they're older. My kids are and now, so they're independent. And so for me to now go back, like, to 10 years of this chaos, and then now you're waking me up crazy time, and then you expect it was just like, I'm not doing

[00:35:18]

Larry Ambrose: this. So I I did learn from that. I'm like, okay. Like and and, you know, it's been a struggle because, I mean, I had this we met in and. Right? So 10 years, right, passed. And, you know, you you to her point, I ran a tight ship. I had to. Like, I had no bandwidth.

[00:35:38]

Larry Ambrose: I had to, like, make decisions. I had to go do this, and and it was just the way we operated. But so I had to take a step back and, like, okay. Like, this is different. Like, this is a relationship. She's gonna be equal in this relationship, so I have to respect you know, learn about her and what's important to her. Just the same she had to learn about what was important to me and, you know, have the respect for for what what I valued and so forth. And so it it's a trial and error.

[00:36:04]

Larry Ambrose: It was definitely a funny you know, I I I still have her shirt that says I am not the 9th duckling with 9 ducklings on it. But but, yeah, but we we learned, I mean, through that and a lot of things like that.

[00:36:15]

Dawne Jacoby : Like, I'm a woman, and I wear hair and makeup and get dressed up. I'm not a boy. I don't get up and go, and that is a real thing and I wasn't gonna be made fun of for that or made to feel that this was a problem. Because if that was the case, then that was gonna be a problem. Because I'm not changing who I am to fit into his mold or anyone else's. I will a 100% understand where he comes from. But he needs to understand who I am as a woman, not just somebody that's gonna throw in and, you know, runs.

[00:36:51]

Larry Ambrose: Well, she has she has since taken my daughters and introduced them into the world of glam, and so they love it. And, you know, they were coming. They were learning that on the own as well, but she has definitely accelerated it. And,

[00:37:02]

Dawne Jacoby : Now they're getting their nails done, their hair done.

[00:37:06]

Stephen Licciardello: And that's so good. You know? You know, when you were saying that story, I just kept on having flashbacks of the movie with Are Barrymore and blended, you know, when when she would fly with her daughter and

[00:37:16]

Dawne Jacoby : the Blended.

[00:37:17]

Stephen Licciardello: Yeah. So

[00:37:18]

Larry Ambrose: Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[00:37:19]

Stephen Licciardello: Well, how did you blend to lots of children? Like, how how did you how did those how did that all navigate? You know? And and what is the the and and feel free to not answer this question if it's too personal, but what is the hierarchy when it comes to the relationship and the children? Because, you know, I've seen a lot of couples that have come together later in life, and there's not the respect for the other partner's children and they're, like, they're your children. How did you navigate all of that?

[00:37:52]

Dawne Jacoby : Yeah. I literally so I love children, number 1, and immediate empathy for these children. I'm gonna get upset. Yeah. My heart bled for them. It really did. And as somebody who didn't have a mother, a good mother, my number one thing in life was to be a mother. And while I'll never be their mother, I will try to be their biggest fan and supporter and female model and just love the.

[00:38:22]

Dawne Jacoby : And so I tried to get to know them individually the best I could. You know, each one of them has a different language for me. They we we talk about different things. And so with each one of them, I have a special bond, I'd say. And then, the girls obviously They are with me more. It's not that I love them more But one of his oldest sons, you know, I got him a job and we worked together for a short period of time, and I just fell in love with him more and more every single day, and I'm so proud of him.

[00:38:57]

Sharlene Licciardello: I I have a a

[00:38:58]

Dawne Jacoby : different love for each one of them. So

[00:39:00]

Larry Ambrose: Yeah. Yeah. I remember when we first started dating, she would ask all kinds of questions about them. What it was almost like she was keeping notes.

[00:39:06]

Larry Ambrose : You know? What? Just part of

[00:39:08]

Larry Ambrose: the our FaceTime is during our COVID,

[00:39:10]

Larry Ambrose : our COVID hiatus.

[00:39:11]

Stephen Licciardello: But, yeah, she she just took

[00:39:13]

Larry Ambrose: a real deep interest in them. And, you know, she's an empath. She's a life coach. She she has a great relationship with her daughters. So I knew I mean, one of

[00:39:21]

Larry Ambrose : the things that was important to me was that she was a mom and understood children and had those bonds and so forth from you know, had met them are had an understanding of the. So, because I felt like for my children, that was gonna be important again for the,

[00:39:37]

Larry Ambrose: to be able to have that and of relationship or whatever. So so she just had a keen interest

[00:39:42]

Larry Ambrose : in them. She she took notes, like I said. She asked me lots of questions about him, and to her point, she has built individual relationships with him. And it was, yeah, it was it was beautiful to see, and it's honestly what I'd prayed for. Right? I had said, I want somebody in my life who's going to stand and this is kinda back to your question, Stephen, like, hierarchy. There is a really hierarchy. Like, I wanted an equal. I wanted a person who would who would stand side by side with me.

[00:40:07]

Larry Ambrose: I remember we're coming out

[00:40:08]

Larry Ambrose : of COVID. The world's crazy. You know, I'm trying to make sense of this while still raising 8 kids, and I just wanted someone who was gonna be a fighter, who was gonna stand there with me, next to me, embrace my kids, love them, and and, you know, we'll figure out life together. And and that's what literally I prayed for the few weeks leading up to when I met her,

[00:40:28]

Larry Ambrose: so. Wow.

[00:40:30]

Stephen Licciardello: That's awesome. Okay, not complicated enough. You decide to open a business to just complicate things a bit more together. Tell me about that dynamic and how the business relationship works and how you separate the romantic relationship from the business relationship.

[00:40:48]

Dawne Jacoby : Yeah. Good question.

[00:40:49]

Larry Ambrose: Well, so I would say so go back to the first day. The foundation for the business was that really, that night because our missions line lined up in terms of we we had found our purpose, each found our purpose, and we wanted to take our purpose and help others. Right? To take the best of what we have to help others and so forth. And the were different experiences, but we knew that we were meant to go do this. And, you know, about a year and a half into our relationship, I had I was still actually had you know, I was still kinda on hiatus from work raising the kids. I'd started to write the book, my book in beginning of 23. Dawn had worked for years at the are ups and helped build companies. And the situation she was in, the company basically had to shut down or let part of the the crew go.

[00:41:38]

Larry Ambrose: And so, you know, she's here sitting. Do I just go back and try to build somebody else's company? And, you know, but we started talking about it, and we said, you know what? Let's give this a shot. Like, we believe that we can start this business, and, you know, we can go and help others. Right? And we had to figure out all the, you know, the challenges that come with that. When was the message gonna be? What was the market? Who were we really serving? Because we kinda serve different people. But, you know, we had to work through all that. And so I so that's how the business kinda came to be. The dynamic then about how you how we work together, and we are definitely different.

[00:42:16]

Larry Ambrose: I I mean, like, almost like night and day. Like, I came from GE, you know, $300,000,000,000 company, you know, a and +1000 people, you know, and we just did things a certain way. Right? And I was an engineer by trade, so I have a very logical processing way of doing it. You know, Dawn's coming more from the entrepreneurial perspective, and she's got more of a marketing brain. We both did sales, but we did sales from a different perspective.

[00:42:40]

Stephen Licciardello: And

[00:42:41]

Dawne Jacoby : I came from a are world, entrepreneurs, meaning you had to hunt and grind and work really hard to build, handle rejection repeatedly, you know, all of those things that when you're in a big conglomerate like GE where you're very cushioned, I'm not saying you don't have to work as hard, but it's a different way of working. And instant gratification doesn't come when you're building a company. So you have to be able to handle rejection a lot and then persevere through and keep going and try another angle and be creative. And so I am a I'm a Libra. I'm a true Libra. There's two sides of me. The the work one is not nice. I'm just a stickler.

[00:43:29]

Dawne Jacoby : And then when we change gears and we get into the relationship, me, I'm obviously who I am.

[00:43:36]

Larry Ambrose: So Yeah. But it's but it is it has helped us, I think, tremendously. You know, some people would say, well, then you can never escape it. But we've had to work through a lot of things business wise that we would have never have done if we were just each working our own jobs. And I think there's a healthy there's always a healthy respect, right? I think that's at the core of it, even though we may disagree, there's a healthy respect for each other. There is a deep love for each the. So we want to make this work. So we know that it's something that might be business that we say, and we might get frustrated with each other, but then we will come back together, and we'll figure it out.

[00:44:17]

Larry Ambrose: And, ultimately, I think we've done a very good job of not letting it bleed into our personal relationship. So

[00:44:23]

Dawne Jacoby : And a high level of communication on the work side and the personal side. But, yeah, I I think we are very we both fizzle out, and we're like, I just need no more work, let's just go be humans and have fun and go dancing or go to dinner. And you know what? We still end up talking about work sometimes, but it's by choice, like, it's not like the whole night, you know, and it's not that we're grinding or anything. So we're really good at shutting down.

[00:44:53]

Stephen Licciardello: To Grace is the name of your business. Tell us a bit about what you do.

[00:44:56]

Dawne Jacoby : So Grit the Grace represents the process and must go through to get to the other side. So you have to get through the grit to get to the grace. And what we do for organizations is we work with organizations to humanize the workplace, and what that really means is bringing compassion and empathy to the forefront. You know, creating compassionate leaders, helping them optimize their executive functions so that they can lead their teams more effectively and from a place of compassion. We work with the whole organization. So we work with, you know, the leaders, middle management, many times middle management. They're 20 years old, you know, they're having to lead teams and they don't have a clue how to do it. And, you know, we've witnessed different stories, but and in particular, you know, a company who, has great policies in place for bereavement or leave of absence and, they were having an issue because they were, they acquired 7 companies.

[00:45:57]

Dawne Jacoby : So there was a whole different culture there And they were having trouble with, folks who were away on leave of absence and then coming back. It was the transition process. And, they were like, yeah, we don't understand what the problem is. And so the middle management was the ones who were dealing with those folks coming back from the bereavement or whatever. And they're not qualified to, you know, manage someone who's, say, in his forties or fifties, who lost a spouse and just, you know, had to bury her 3 days ago and now the expectation from the company is, well, you gotta get back to work because you only had 3 days off. I mean, that's how it is in the US. I don't know about Australia, but in the US, it's like, okay, we give you 3 days to bury your spouse, breathe it and get back to work because the pressure to produce and be productive, you know, is back. And so that middle management who in their twenties is responsible for telling, you know, a 40, 50 year old who lost their spouse, like, hey.

[00:46:57]

Dawne Jacoby : You gotta get back to work. Well, we go in and actually work with those middle managers to say, listen. You need to have empathy, compassion, and understanding. We can coach them on how to do that, but we can also serve as a coach to the individuals who came back and had to go through that process. And then we work with employees to help them bring their whole selves to work and really bridging that communication amongst all teams so that everyone knows, you know, like, the culture supports it. You know? We want the culture to be a purpose driven culture.

[00:47:32]

Larry Ambrose: And I think the unique part there's a couple of things that are unique about us, right, is that we both were in the heights of our corporate career when this happened to us. We went through significant tragedy, trauma, and so forth. And as we talked about earlier, had to go through a process to heal, a similar process. So, you know, we teach that process. We give people the ability, the tools, and so forth to help overcome things in their life so that they can kinda show up to work with a mindset that, you know, allows them to continue to go forward. Because we know how we were treated when we were in a situation at work, and so we have, you know, some really some really healthy and and and fantastic the of that. And there's also some challenges that we recognize with what happened as well. So those are the things we bring to the table.

[00:48:14]

Larry Ambrose: And so it's our story. Some of the stories that we're sharing today, you know, are are stories that we would share during our training, our workshops, and so forth. And it helps us connect, and I think resonates with the audience, and so forth.

[00:48:25]

Stephen Licciardello: Because look.

[00:48:26]

Dawne Jacoby : I mean Everybody goes through SunPower.

[00:48:28]

Larry Ambrose: Everybody's going through you know, we talked earlier about what's going on in Australia before we've been got on. And and, now it's it's there's just challenges, right, in life these days, and people are dealing with a lot of stuff. And if you just come in and and there's it's all about business, it's all about work and, like, grind, grind, grind, give me more performance, eventually, it's gonna snap. Right? Something's gonna break. And but if you go into an environment that is healthy and that Are. Supported, there's good communication protocol are the way you talk to people and you have compassion and empathy,

[00:48:56]

Larry Ambrose : in the end, you're gonna have a

[00:48:57]

Larry Ambrose: much more high performing team that wants to do well for you as the manager and for your customers and for the company. And you're gonna thrive in that way. And there's plenty of examples in and world of companies that do that.

[00:49:07]

Dawne Jacoby : And you'll be a place that people wanna stay instead of, you know, leaving. Right? So what's common here is burnout and then leaving. People just happen to leave their position, because they feel taken advantage of and not valued and rightfully so sometimes. And so, you know, engagement is a huge issue here and retention. So when we come in and fix those problems, that's where the company benefits as a whole financially, but also as a culture within. And the way we demonstrate this is through keynote speaking, and training,

[00:49:48]

Larry Ambrose: And we do. And so that's that's a big focus corporate wise, but we'll do individual coaching. Right? We've talked to you and get a feel for our areas of expertise based are experience So we coach people in those particular areas. We also have books that are both in the process, so that will become part of the business as well. And, you know, we have a podcast as well. We and do it for more you know, to get our brand built and just to kinda get out there. It's fun for us as well. You know, we utilize some of that for business, but, you know, it's a different aspect as well.

[00:50:16]

Stephen Licciardello: Awesome. Thank you so much.

[00:50:18]

Sharlene Licciardello: Thank you. So, it's been so lovely hearing your stories. And I guess one of the things we'd like to know is what advice would you give to someone who's looking to rewrite this story?

[00:50:29]

Larry Ambrose: I would so I I'll go back to just the story that that I talked about personally with mine. I think and, Steven, you asked, you know, what allowed 2 hearts of joy to show up that day? I think, you know, to rewrite your story, I think you have to face into your pain. Right? I think you have to work through what those challenges are. And it may take time, it may take help, you know, it may take a counselor, it may take a coach, it may take a mentor, it may take a, you know, a pastor or a priest. It may take all of them, right, to help good friends, family, and so forth. But in the end, I think for you to truly achieve what you want to in life, you have to work through those things that have held you back, work through the pain. And ultimately, you may find on the other end of that a purpose that is much, much different than what you were originally are the trajectory you're really originally on in your career. Right? You may have been an accountant who went through a tragedy and you go out on the other side, and now all of a sudden you're an expert who can help others because you've lived through it, you've solved it, you resolved it, and you figured out a way.

[00:51:36]

Larry Ambrose: And I just think, you know, we hear because, you know, similar on the podcast, you know, we do a lot of transforming your pain into purpose stories, and we just see so much of it, right, where people who go through the pain as hard as it is ultimately come through and and rewrite their stories in a way that's beautiful. Right? Magnificent.

[00:51:56]

Dawne Jacoby : And I would probably say, if somebody came to me and said I wanna rewrite my story, I would dive into their story with them, but I would encourage them to look at it differently, envision that rewriting the story, this actually is their story. So the story that they wanna rewrite is actually meant to be their story and there's no need to rewrite it. It's a matter of living through it, navigating through whatever challenges have been brought to you and trying to make good with it and then turn it around to help others. Instead of saying, I hate that life that I lived, I wanna change it, rewrite it. Actually, look at it as a blessing no matter how bad it is. No matter we all have something horrible that we've had to live through. And we could all say, oh my gosh. If I could go back and change it and do it differently, I totally would.

[00:52:46]

Dawne Jacoby : I I I never thought I'd say this ever, but I would never change my story, and my life was brutal. But now being on the other side of it, I get it. I understand why I had to live through it. I say I'm a slow learner because, you know, I stayed too long, I'm too loyal, but and that would be something maybe I would say, you know, I could re change or rewrite, you know, maybe be quicker to leave, but, you know, it made me who I am. So why rewrite your story? Embrace your story.

[00:53:20]

Sharlene Licciardello: Absolutely. So it's almost like I mean, really, you're not rewriting what's happening, but you're rewriting perhaps the meaning of what you went through. So if you were to go back, you know, and rewrite your story in that way, what would that look like for you?

[00:53:35]

Dawne Jacoby : I would write it from a different place. I would write it from a place of gratitude for sure. And then, honestly, I wouldn't do anything differently. No. But I think

[00:53:46]

Larry Ambrose : I think I I remember I was

[00:53:48]

Larry Ambrose: on the podcast one time, and they were asking me a lot of questions about, you know, my story and so forth. But and at the very end, they asked me a question. They said, how would you give us one word to describe what I had just talked about over the previous hour. And I said blessed, and and they were like, what? Like like, you could tell. There was a silence, and then they and they asked me to explain. I'm like, look, I I can't change what happened. Right? I can't go back and and rewrite history from that perspective. What happened to us or what happens to us and to us.

[00:54:20]

Larry Ambrose: It's it's how we deal with what happens to us. Right? So Mhmm. Just think the journey that similar to what Dawn just described, the journey that we went through ultimately is building us every step of the way to become. And, again, from my perspective, it's my faith. God leading me down the path that ultimately he wants me to be, not making decisions for me, but opening up doors and building me, helping me be stronger inside, growing, healing, and so forth. And, you know, the story then becomes what you make of it and how you, you know, rebound from it or work your way through it or and so forth. And so I I feel blessed that I am where I am and have had the journey that I've had and have the perspective on what I've come through to be where I'm at today. So

[00:55:04]

Sharlene Licciardello: Thank you so much. That's a really beautifully articulated way of saying that.

[00:55:09]

Stephen Licciardello: Dawn and Larry, it's been great having you on our show today. And if you wanna know more about them, you can check out the show notes where we'll have all their socials and website. Once again, thank you so much.

[00:55:20]

Sharlene Licciardello: Thank you.

[00:55:20]

Larry Ambrose: Thank you for having us. Yes. It was great being here.

[00:55:24]

Sharlene Licciardello: Thank you for joining us on the Rewrite IS Story podcast.

[00:55:27]

Stephen Licciardello: We hope you found this episode enlightening.

[00:55:29]

Sharlene Licciardello: For more information on the topics discussed, please visit our website at and.

[00:55:34]

Stephen Licciardello: Don't forget to subscribe to our podcast on your favorite platform. Platform. Share with your friends and follow us on social media at and.

[00:55:41]

Sharlene Licciardello: Until next time, stay informed and inspired.

[00:55:43]

Stephen Licciardello: This is Stephen and Charlene signing off from the rewrite your story podcast. Thank you and stay blessed.